Kissing Him Made Me Cry

Time standing still tends to be a misnomer most of the time. Time flying is usually more accurate in this busy rush of a world. Caught up in the hustle and bustle, lost to the drama unfolding around my life, sometimes the only way to capture a really good moment is to steal it away.

Standing in the shower the other day, easing the bubbles out of my hair, my husband stepped into the room to ask me about a work related dilemma. Had we been in our honeymoon phase, wife plus shower would never equal work. Settled into monotony, my steamy abyss was reduced to another local to find the person of the house who deals with the problems.

The moment presented itself and I took it as my own. Answering the question with a solution, I proceeded to solve a dilemma of my own. I invited my man to join me in my steamy chamber. Stealing away moments have taught us how to act fast, fulfill need and desire promptly, before capture by phone, child or other such demanding responsibility. After our quick and steamy encounter, the moment hung around. No knock at the door disturbed us. No ring of the phone, nor demanding deadline on the brain. Nothing but... nothing. The gift to linger longer presented itself. I grabbed my lover's face and locked on deep and hard. 

A feeling rose from my belly. Passion and pain mixed in a swirling sea of deep love and longing. Holding him close, his body warm, wet, strong and safe, I missed him dearly. Almost desperately. Realization overwhelmed me. How long had it been since we truly connected? Daily discussions are a given as are gentle touches as we pass each other by. His career allows him to work from home presenting the opportunity to be together every second of every day. But how long has it been since we were truly together? Heart and soul?

Holding our lip embrace I allowed the tears to flow followed by laughter at the insanity of it all. How dreadfully much I missed the man who is with me almost every moment of every day. One overwhelming  lip-lock moment of love and longing, passionate lust and pain, striking deep down to my core. Emotion welled up and the water instantly washed it away. It was as if I struck emotional climax.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapped a warm soft towel around myself and smiled, as contentment settled in for a spell.

Love is good.

Lean Into

                     Drip. 

                         Drop. 

                              Drip. 

                                 

Hugs and kisses were the first order of the day as my children headed out the door for their first day back to school. No one in our household looks forward to back-to-school season. It is an enormous blessing to live in a household full of love, comfort, and safety where enjoyment of the family unit is top priority. It makes back-to-school time bitter sweet. There is much excitement about the new. New teachers, making new friends, a new year of opportunity for learning and growth. Not so much excitement is felt for waking early, boredom in the classroom, parting with the security and comfort of home. BTST is hard on mom too. Watching my loved ones head out the door into the big wide world.

Today I am choosing the words lean into.

I am choosing to lean into this new school year with trust that none of us will not fall. Faith the kids will have the best year ever. Lean in with imagination for all that I will achieve during the day. Lean in and surrender to the flow of life. As I lean in I will whisper my intentions of success to the cloth of the Universe knowing it holds the magic necessary to weave my creative dreams into reality. This new year, new season, new cup of free time will be filled to overflowing with goodness. I vow to fill my cup daily with happiness, health, creativity, peace and love allowing my children to step off the bus directly into the overflow.

             Ah yes.

                     Drip.

                         Drop.

                              Drip.

                                  Drop.

My cup will overflow.

Wisdom

The years teach much which the days never knew. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

© Lynn Retzlaff

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another. ~Juvenal, Satires

© Lynn Retzlaff

My husband and I took the kids to the zoo this past Monday. A much needed and deserved day of enjoyment and family time.

As we wandered the zoo looking at animal after beautiful animal, absorbing all the educational facts our minds could hold on a hot humid day, I fell in love over and over again. So many beautiful and fascinating creatures live on this planet. My inner child surfaced and wished the age old wish to be able to talk to the animals. I would love to be able to connect with them and understand what they are thinking and feeling, especially the elephants.

To see the world through the eyes of an elephant. Wouldn't that be fascinating? The history they must hold! I wonder if they tell stories to their young, passing knowledge from generation to generation.

Perhaps my love for the elephant is in direct relation to my love for grand old trees. Think of the similarities. Their color, texture, massive size, longevity, noble stature. Both are seen as wise old sages. I wonder if the wrinkles on elephants read like the lines in the trunks of trees, giving glimpses into their history. (Wonder. Another component to wisdom, as one feeds the other)

Wisdom is not something that can be rushed. One must slow down and learn with intent in order to gain wisdom. One must take the time to care about the knowledge that presents itself. Perhaps that is why the elephant and the tree are both representatives of wisdom. They are both noble slow/still beings that seem to absorb the stories of that which surround them. Wisdom through observation and osmosis.

Live for the Moment

I need neither future nor past, but to learn to take today not too fast.  ~Jeb Dickerson

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of.”

~ Benjamin Franklin 

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“Leave the problems of God to God and karma to karma. Today you're here and nothing you do will change that. Today you are alive and here and honored and blessed with good fortune. Look at this sunset, it's beautiful, neh? This sunset exists. Tomorrow does not exist. There is only now. Please look. It is so beautiful and it will never happen ever again, never, not this sunset, never in all infinity. Lose yourself in it, make yourself one with nature and do not worry about karma, yours, mine, or that of the village.”  ~ James Clavell 

Pondering the Struggle

Early morning.

Lying in bed with my love.

The birds wake, stretch, sing.

Earth quenching rain pouring down.

Trees dancing in the breeze as their thirst is met by the clouds.

Pondering the magic of life.

I am happy.

Sadness spontaneously washes over.

Life is beautifully amazing

yet such a struggle.

There is so much struggle.

When we get wrapped up in survival,

we don't really live.

Back I fall again.

Back into the moment.

My head rises with every breath of my husband's chest.

His heart beats strong and loud.

The birds are still singing,

trees dancing,

rain quenching.

Once again I am happy.

I am present.

I am alive.

I live.

Take time to live in the moment.

(Key word, live.)

What Kids Really Want

Warning: Jolly Elf discussion. Not for little eyes.

Second born is in middle school. His school shares a project with the local grade schools. All first graders wrote letters to Santa. The letters were distributed to the middle school where they had the students elves respond.

Second born elf received a letter in which the child told Santa he (the child) wanted to give him(Santa) a gift this year since Santa is always giving to everyone else. The only other request in his letter was to have a fun and happy Christmas.

Simple and sweet, right?

Second born elf's best friend elf received a letter from a boy requesting two small toys. The boy also stated that if he could have his true wish for Christmas, it would be that his daddy would play with him more.

Ouch.

For Christmas this year, in honor of the letters to Santa, I am doling out extra hugs and love. I am praying the little boy's wish for time with his daddy comes true.

I am sharing this story in the hopes that it inspires all who are reading to slow down, sit in silence and feel the real Christmas spirit. Don't listen to the noisy media-bot and reach for your wallet to spread false holiday cheer. Dig deeper. Reach into your heart. Share fistfuls of love, armloads of hugs, mouthfuls of praise and compliments.

I wish all of  you a Heart Overflowing Holiday Season. Hugs all around.

This ornament has been on my tree for many years. When my oldest was just a wee lad we went to visit an old family friend. He spotted this Santa on her tree and plucked it off. He was fascinated by it. He grinned from ear to ear and would not take his eyes off of it. Diane, always full of love and generosity, insisted he keep the ornament as it obviously made him very happy. She passed away several years later, in her early 50's, of diabetes complications. Every year I hang Santa on the tree. With that ornament I hang memories of Diane, of her love, her generosity, her spirit. She resides in my tree every Christmas.

Choices

Taking my son's forgotten lunch to school today, I found myself stopped at the local train.

The little town is cut in two by tracks.

When the train comes, there's no going around.

One must wait.

Some drivers get frustrated, some downright mad.

Me? I love the train.

It has such an old timey feel.

The rumbling, the metal scraping, the thunderous weight

all feels strangely soothing to me.

I love that it makes everyone stop.

For a minute, sometimes five, everyone is required to stop.

How that time is spent is purely choice.

Some may cuss and fume.

Others dance in their car and crank the tunes.

Me?

I people watch.

I study the art of graffiti.

I laugh at the amateurs.

I bask in the time spent at a stand still with my fellow drivers.

We are in it together.

This crazy trip called life. 

Each traveler chose this road at this time

and ended up at this spot

together

for a moment

or two

or ten.

I acknowledge the other drivers with a nod, a smile.

I turn up my radio, tap my fingers, bob my head.

I snap pictures.

The train passes. The lights stop. The bar lifts.

Travelers back on their merry way.

Perhaps it will make someone late.

Perhaps the pause in time saves someone from a wreck that would have been.

Perhaps it allowed someone time to think, to cry, to rejoice.

Perhaps it sparked inspiration in others as it did in me.

There's just something about a train.

Minute by Minute

Life

Time

~~~

Valuable

Fleeting

I had an eye opening first few hours of my day today.

It really has me thinking about life.

The big picture.

The little things.

What matters.

Love

I woke all my children and one by one helped them get ready for school,

hugged them goodbye, told them I loved them and wished them a happy day.

Joy

I stood at the patio door and watched the world through a rain streaked window.

The cold, dreary morning was not bringing me down, rather, I enjoyed watching the raindrops race to the bottom and felt happy to have a warm, safe house from which to watch the cold, dank weather.

Sorrow

I sat at my computer to check on my fellow bloggers.

Tears swelled and ran down my face just as the rain runs down my window.

I found out one of my fellow bloggers was just diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer.

Such a talented, vibrant, wonderful woman.

She needs prayers. I am sending them in mass.

Gratitude

Another blogger had a video on her blog this morning.

It was so inspiring and touching and important that I plan on using it as a morning meditation.

It is touching, inspiring and beautiful.

Visit the link. You will be moved.

Two little hours were filled with so very much.

Life

Time

~~~ 

Valuable

Fleeting

Make every moment count.

Living With An Open Mind

  This past week has been crazy busy.

This morning was calm and wonderful!

I spent the early hours enjoying a special phone conversation

with an amazing blog friend

who lives an ocean away.

After breakfast with the kids

I drove to a lovely little coffee shop

and spent hours chatting with a friend

whom I have not seen in some time.

 

  What does my morning have to do with the post title

'living with an open mind'?

Let me re-tell my story.

My morning phone call was a gift of a long distance tarot reading.

My coffee was consumed at a Christian coffee house

with an athiest friend

conversing about

politics

parenting

and life in general.

It was an absolutely lovely morning

spent with good friends,

good food, and lovely surroundings.

I would not have been able to experience all that goodness

if not for living with an open mind.

Is your mind open to all the wonderment

and possibilities in the world?

If not, what are you waiting for?

Open up Baby!

The world is waiting!

p.s. If you seek healing in your life, if you would like a tarot reading done, if you desire to read uplifting stories, please visit John at his blog

John The Healing Seed

or his website

Sunchi Healing

Both sites offer a plethora of information.

If you would like information on rates

and/or to seek further guidance

please contact John at

sunchihealing@yahoo.com

John also sells

wisdom art

and

abstract art

while his partner Helen sells clever

animal art.

Can't you just feel the love?

;O)

Happy Weekending!!!!

One Hundred Years

I was in my basement studio this morning

looking through some antique ephemera I have acquired.

I have a lot of old photographs and post cards.

They fascinate me.

The majority of what I own is around 100 years old.

It's like going on a historical treasure hunt

imagining what life was like a hundred years ago.

I was rifling through the drawers seeking a piece or two

to use in a shadow box assignment from the online course I am taking.

(I highly recommend this course!)

Experimental art e-course.

Button found in right hand column.

Right, right, right.

Back on track.

So I'm rifling through my drawers of antique ephemera

reading the words written so many years ago to someone other than me.

Sort of like time travel spying

or perhaps

futuristic eaves dropping.

Come to think of it, perhaps it is wrong of me to read the words

written by someone so long ago meant for someone other than myself.

But reading I was.

And then I found this...

It's an old fountain from Whitewater, WI.

The writing on the front reads:

Fountian in Esterly School Yard

Whitewater, WI

L.A. Duffin & Co.

On the back is this...

and if I can get you a wee bit closer, it reads like this...

This is what it says (to the best of my reading ability)...

Dear friend. Endless chain of prayer. Oh! God we implore thy blessing on our Soldiers & Sailors. Keep them in the hollow of thy hand.

This was read by me Oct. 31, 1917. It has been all over the world. Copy it and see what happens. It was in the old that days all who wrote it would be free from all care & all who passed it by would meet with a misfortune. Send it to seven people and on the 7th day you will receive great pay. Send it on the same day you receive it. Please don't forget to sign your name and don't break the chain.

From H.I. Trewyn.

Can you believe? Almost 100 years of superstition. An almost 100 year old chain letter!!! And I thought superstitious chain letters were just an e-mail thing! This was back in WWI days.

It was such a fun find I instantly ran to Darling Hubby to share.

Then I rushed to my blog to share with all of you because it's interesting.

And fun.

And I thought you might enjoy it.

Plus, I wasn't about to risk breaking the chain!!!

Didn't you read the line about misfortune???

Hopefully there are at least seven responses

to this post so I know I'm in the clear!

;)

Tee hee! Toodles.

Yeah

This is how I'm feeling lately.

(ya gotta know a girl is stressed when she posts a shot of herself

with no make-up and no shower at a very unbecoming angle!)

Yeah.

Like the weight of the world is on me.

And it's freakin' heavy!!!

Taking short hietus from blogland.

Trying to take some pressure off of myself

before I explode all over the screen!!!

Hugs, love, all that goods stuff.

Will miss you while I'm gone.

Oh, and...

don't forget to take care of 

YOU

too.

p.s. I'm having a sale in my Etsy store. I know I don't promote myself much. I need to work on that. You can find the link to my store at the bottom of this page. If you find anything you would like to purchase, put "YIPPEE" in the coupon code and you will receive 20% off your order! I'm outta here!

Through Your Eyes

Our eyes are a gift

used to look out at the world.

We see beauty, pain, promise.

There is window shopping

movie watching

site seeing

people watching.

So much time is spent looking out at the world before us.

What about what's in here?

(Tapping closed fist to chest)

What we don't see while looking out is ourselves.

How often do you look in the mirror?

I mean really, Really look?

Do you see yourself for who you are?

Do you see your life for what you have?

How often do you close your eyes and look within?

Gift yourself with some time today.

Time for self-reflection.

Time to look at yourself and see your beauty.

Now close your eyes and look deeper yet.

 

Do you see?

Beautiful, isn't it?!?!?!

Time

 

Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.  ~Carl Sandburg

Time is what we want most, but... what we use worst.  ~Willaim Penn

I've been reflecting on time lately. I look at my kids and see how fast time seems to fly. I wait for my tea water to boil and feel like it is taking forever. I rush around like a crazy woman trying to get a million things done in a day. I have a few minutes to myself and I am a deer in headlights unable to move, trying to figure out what direction to take.


I have been wanting to carve out some time for myself. Me. Alone. In a house with five people who depend on me every second of every day. Sometimes the demands are suffocating, causing me glimpses of an imaginary life where I break free, get in the car and drive, drive, drive. Far away where I can find solitude. Just for a moment. Then I will return. I promise.


Just the thought brings loneliness and guilt as I don't want to lose a single minute with these precious beings that share my dwelling. My mind flashes to the future when they grow and part ways with "home" and I get instantly sad and reminisce. I cling to the present desperate for it to remain as it is. How can I miss my children when they're right here? Trust me. I'm capable!


Time. A slippery commodity. As I type this I am being bombarded with young voices preparing for school. Waiting until they leave to post would prove fruitless as baby will be dropped off and demanding my time. Noon will see my four returning as it is a half day, end of quarter, semester. End. Another time line complete. My focus wanes.


Last night I tried to take shots of the moon. It was full and bright, huge and gorgeous. I don't know how to set my camera to take a good shot nor the time to learn. I shot anyways. If I had more time, it would be a better picture. Instead it is what it is. A big white hole in the night sky which actually turned out to be pretty cool considering the shadow effect. Can you see it? To the right of the moon? (if I find the time, I will play with the image and see if I can get it to pop)

I'm off to drive the kids to school and kiss them to pieces.


This moment. Right now. What are you doing with your time?

Time

It's been one hell of a week here. The down time taken from my blog this week has been much needed. The events of this week have me thinking about time. About how very relevant it really is. As I walk around my house thinking about time, I look at the clocks. They are everywhere. We look at clocks and think, "Oops! Better hurry. Going to be late for school." or "Don't forget about that 2pm appointment." or "Boy, that time sure flew by!".

As I look at the clocks I notice how they differ in time. Some hold true, some are a bit delayed or fast, yet others have run out of battery and no longer tick. That reminds me of a poem I wrote a bit back.

Hands of the clock

Tickety tock

Seem to be mocking me

As I live on borrowed time

I am forever soul

But the mind wants more

Tick tock

Tickety tock

                  ~Lynn Retzlaff

Our time on earth is limited.  The dance cards are handed out, some with more room than others. What do you do when you find out someone you love has a card that is almost filled?

You dance with them. You don't worry about what song is playing, who is watching, where you'll go to eat later, what time it is. You take their hand, hold them close to your heart and dance.

It is sad how we rush through life dwelling on the past, worrying about the future, filling our time with appointments stressing about maintaining perfect houses. A child wants to hear a story but there are dishes to be done. Bills to be paid.

Time is relevant.

"Time flies when you're having fun."
"This test is taking FOREVER!"
"The kids have grown in the blink of an eye."
"Will this light ever change?"

But it's only relevant when it's there. It's only there for a limited time.

I found out someone very close to me has stage four incurable cancer. The amount of time? Unsure.
I will do my best to be present, really present in every moment I am blessed to spend with him. I will dance and I will pray.

May you read this and think of your loved ones, of your time with them. Take their hand, hold them close, ask them to dance. We must practice mindfulness, slowing down, spending time. Real, conscious, in the moment time. Practice makes perfect.

Fellow

 

(my youngest skipping rocks in the rockies)

A Tricky Fellow

Days grow long

you start having fun

time feels never ending.

You play, you rest

you do your best

to live in the moment you're spending.

Laughing and learning

growing, exploring.

That's what summers are for.

Watching, loving

every moment absorbing

soon it will be no more.

Back to school

oh what a fool!

To think time would stand still.

Allowing me

the time I need

to drink and get my fill.

My kids, my heart,

soon to part

back to the daily grind.

I must embrace

these last few days

as summer must unwind.

Time I tell you

is a tricky fellow.

You think you have forever.

Instead he calls

upon us all.

Summer's end arrives with fervor.

To this I say,

"Enjoy these last days

of rock tossing and sleeping in,

until next school year end

when time once again becomes friend

and another magical summer begins."

~ Lynn Retzlaff

Foto Friday?

Earth Day was yesterday.
I was busy working away in my garden.
How did you spend your day?

Wanna know how the neighborhood spiders spend their day?
Take a look at my front lawn!!!!
Creepy Cool!