Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Holy Head Cold Hannah!

A tiny bit of a bug
has taken up residency in my skull
wreaking havoc on my thoughts
and creating a misfit of actions.

I spent the entire day (yesterday) wrapped in blankets
thinking it was Monday,
missing appointments,
letting my helpless laundry go stagnant in the washer.

I ate soup, took naps, vegged on a movie
and read books when my brain allowed the words to appear normal.
I whined, I complained.
I drank kombucha, ate garlic and flushed my system
with as much fluid as my bladder could handle (and then some).

If I don't attack the cold, the cold attacks me
and I will end up with bronchitis (again) or worse, 
pneumonia (which I have had three times).

Woke this morning to progress.
That little bug is packing his bags.
Eviction process is in full swing.

I'm sparing you any pictures.

My apologies for the lack of substance in this post. Guess I just missed it here and wanted to say, "Hello Friends! I miss you!"

Saturday, December 24, 2011


It may appear that we are alone on our journey through life,
but one need only to look to the left or the right
to see that we are not alone. We are walking side by side.

With deep gratitude I thank each one of you for being by my side.


A wish, a kiss, a blessing
sent out onto the air
praying it reaches your doorstep
and finds you waiting there.

May your heart open wide and fill with love.
May your soul feel light and free.
May you find magic in the air this holiday season
and love filled gifts under your tree.

I thank you and love you for being here.
Your friendships and support touch my heart.
May God bless you this holiday season.
May the New Year bless you from finish to start.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

What Kids Really Want

Warning: Jolly Elf discussion. Not for little eyes.

Second born is in middle school. His school shares a project with the local grade schools. All first graders wrote letters to Santa. The letters were distributed to the middle school where they had the students elves respond.

Second born elf received a letter in which the child told Santa he (the child) wanted to give him(Santa) a gift this year since Santa is always giving to everyone else. The only other request in his letter was to have a fun and happy Christmas.

Simple and sweet, right?

Second born elf's best friend elf received a letter from a boy requesting two small toys. The boy also stated that if he could have his true wish for Christmas, it would be that his daddy would play with him more.


For Christmas this year, in honor of the letters to Santa, I am doling out extra hugs and love. I am praying the little boy's wish for time with his daddy comes true.

I am sharing this story in the hopes that it inspires all who are reading to slow down, sit in silence and feel the real Christmas spirit. Don't listen to the noisy media-bot and reach for your wallet to spread false holiday cheer. Dig deeper. Reach into your heart. Share fistfuls of love, armloads of hugs, mouthfuls of praise and compliments.

I wish all of  you a Heart Overflowing Holiday Season. Hugs all around.

This ornament has been on my tree for many years. When my oldest was just a wee lad we went to visit an old family friend. He spotted this Santa on her tree and plucked it off. He was fascinated by it. He grinned from ear to ear and would not take his eyes off of it. Diane, always full of love and generosity, insisted he keep the ornament as it obviously made him very happy. She passed away several years later, in her early 50's, of diabetes complications. Every year I hang Santa on the tree. With that ornament I hang memories of Diane, of her love, her generosity, her spirit. She resides in my tree every Christmas.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Much Needed Message

I received the following message to my inbox yesterday. Boy! Did I ever need it! I mean, I really, really needed it. Now to get some ink so I can print it out and hang it on my bedroom wall. If you are interested in receiving inspiring quotes and posts full of wisdom, visit The Daily Love and sign up for their daily mail. Your life will be better for it!

The following is a message from Mastin of "The Daily Love".
Thank you, thank you Mastin for your daily dose of lve.

As TDL is expanding, I've had to let go of a lot of sh*t.

It's crazy, actually. The craziest realization is the realization that I am worthy of receiving awesome stuff - but I have to let go of control.

My mom recently told me that she had an "invisibility complex" where she didn't see herself growing up. She is doing AMAZING personal growth work right now; it's sooo inspiring to me to see her set an awesome example of leadership and growth.

And personal growth is like an onion, there's always another layer. And when my mom mentioned this to me - not only did it resonate as true for her, but it resonated as true for me. I realized that growing up, and even a lot still today, I would do whatever I could to help others, and in the process ignore myself. And while at the beginning that was cool, what started to happen was I would build up resentment inside myself because I wasn't seeing me, and as a result others weren't either! And when I didn't have the tools or awareness, I would actually blame other people for not seeing me, instead of realizing that when I see myself and act accordingly, life changes for the better.

When she told me she had this thing where she felt invisible, it was like a million pieces of things I didn't understand all came into focus and the truth hit me like a TON of BRICKS - life turned out how it did because I wasn't really seeing myself. And even if I was seeing myself, I didn't have the belief that I was enough. I think this is a hard lesson for folks to learn. We don't want to be selfish; we don't want to be narcissistic - isn't it true? But, like the wisdom of the airplane stewardess who asks us to put on our own oxygen mask before helping others, it's important that we help and see ourselves so we can best show up for other folks.

Isn't it true? Yeah, it was a big wake up call for me.

So now I ask myself - "Mastin, how can you see yourself today and in this moment?" I ask, "What do you feel is missing from this moment and how can you BRING what you feel is missing to it?"

These questions have really helped to change my life for the better - and on top of that, they've helped to guide me to remember who is ultimately responsible for the emotions I feel - which is of course me! :o)

So if you are living a life where you don't feel seen, then my friend, I'm asking you - do you see yourself? Do you see your true needs and are your standards high enough so that they are being met? If not - now that you know better - what are you going to do? Let me know:

Lots of love,


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Bah Humblog

Not feeling very bloggy the last few days.
Can't seem to capture those elusive things called thoughts.
Instead, I am sharing a few Christmas Carvings the hubs has for sale.

He's pretty clever, that man of mine!

Friday, December 9, 2011


Taking my son's forgotten lunch to school today, I found myself stopped at the local train.
The little town is cut in two by tracks.
When the train comes, there's no going around.
One must wait.

Some drivers get frustrated, some downright mad.
Me? I love the train.
It has such an old timey feel.
The rumbling, the metal scraping, the thunderous weight
all feels strangely soothing to me.

I love that it makes everyone stop.
For a minute, sometimes five, everyone is required to stop.
How that time is spent is purely choice.

Some may cuss and fume.
Others dance in their car and crank the tunes.
I people watch.
I study the art of graffiti.

I laugh at the amateurs.

I bask in the time spent at a stand still with my fellow drivers.
We are in it together.
This crazy trip called life. 
Each traveler chose this road at this time
and ended up at this spot
for a moment
or two
or ten.

I acknowledge the other drivers with a nod, a smile.
I turn up my radio, tap my fingers, bob my head.
I snap pictures.

The train passes. The lights stop. The bar lifts.
Travelers back on their merry way.
Perhaps it will make someone late.
Perhaps the pause in time saves someone from a wreck that would have been.
Perhaps it allowed someone time to think, to cry, to rejoice.
Perhaps it sparked inspiration in others as it did in me.

There's just something about a train.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

We interrupt this holiday season...

... with a bit of fall humor.

A few months back I was sitting at a local market show with Darling Husband and his amazing carvings. The show was slow and the air a bit chilly. I was quite tired so I slouched down in my chair, and threw my head back to rest. Looking up through the giant black walnut trees at the blue skies, the clouds were sailing by putting on a fabulous show of serenity.

After a bit my CIADD (child-bearing induced attention deficit disorder) kicked in and I started scanning the branches of the tree. Suddenly I noticed black walnuts waaaaaayyyyy up above us. At first I thought, "Holy cow! One of those babies could fall and knock us out!!!" My mind (remember the CIADD) quickly changed gears and I started laughing and giggling at the prospect that this tree was most definitely male as it had a pair of nuts!!! Ha ha ha!!!

Amusing myself and still looking up, I proceeded to voice my new found discovery of male tree genitalia to my Darling Husband. I sat up abruptly to point out the proof. With arm in the air pointing to the heavens and a grin on my face that I'm most certain reached from one ear to the other, it was then that I noticed he was standing with customers!!!! Drat. So much for acting professional.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Warning!!!! Rant!!!!!

Warning: The following is a rant. If you're sensitive to this kind of thing, please back slowly away from the computer for your own good. If you care to indulge in a little personal ranting, I sure could use some advice, hugs, support. Heck, you can even join in if the spirit moves you!
I've been trying to plan Christmas for my family. How freakin' hard can it be? I grew up with a mom and two brothers (plus Grandma up the street). That's it. Five of us. F I V E ! Christmas should be easy. But it's not. We have lost grandma. That leaves four. Easier yet, right? WRONG!!!! Every year I'm stuck throwing Christmas as my mother does not deal well. My brothers put their (no longer) estranged father first, their in-laws first, nap time first, work first, everything first. I get the job of finding a few measly hours on the friggin' calendar where everyone is free. They started talking January. We're not even going gifts. What's so hard about finding two measly hours to spend together? No one even lives far!!!! They don't put it priority, they don't sacrifice, they have to be "free". BS!!!! There were FOUR of us in that house growing up through all the shit. We only had each other! FOUR!!! Why is that not of value? Why is it not priority? Why am I stuck figuring and re-figuring and re-figuring when we can celebrate Christmas because nothing works for anyone else? Any time works for me! I'm free! Guess what? I'm trying to make everyone else happy and I AM MISERABLE!!!! I should have moved ages ago but I held on to threads. Frayed threads. I'm reduced to tears. It matters to me and I wish it didn't. Now I kick myself. I am this close (holding thumb and pointer mm's apart) to cancelling the Christmas we can't seem to pull off... again. This is the note I will send out.
i am
and you can
all suck it this
holiday season. i'm

Come to think of it, why do we bother trying to get together  for Christmas if it's so blessed hard? I think some of my family members might be athiest, none of us were brought up religious, and we're not exchanging gifts! Hmmm....   bah humbug!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Do you ever hear a word, a normal word, a word you use all the time,
and suddenly it sounds different and you think
"That is the strangest sounding word."
Then you write it down and realize it even looks strange.
Maybe it's just me.

Okay, check this.
I'm really trying to be more honest with myself.
Remember my post about preparing for a party and wanting to be real?

I have been faced with another challenge.
Due to my extended families schedules, I am forced to hold Christmas this Sunday.
Not my choice. I'm not ready. I cannot afford a tree until the following weekend.
I thought about putting one on a charge card but that seems ludicrous.
Instead, I have decided to be honest. I put up this...

Yes, friends. It is a Charlie Brown Christmas tree!
I love it!
It was given to me by a friend.
It is fitting for our upcoming gathering.
We are all struggling in this economy.
We have all agreed to forgo gifts.

Once again, in the spirit of honesty, I thought about saying, 
"Screw the house too. I'm not cleaning one lick."
Yup. That's honesty.
I do say screw.
And I don't like to clean for others.

That's when the word hit me funny.
 I wrote it down.
Not only did it sound funny but it looked funny too. 
I went a step further and looked up the definition.

1. the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. 
2. truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness. 
3. freedom from deceit or fraud. 

I thought, "It kind of looks like 'hone' and 'sty'.
So I looked them up as well.

to make more acute or effective; improve; perfect
1. a pen in which pigs are housed and fed. 2. any filthy or corrupt place

I was trying to use honesty as an excuse to be lazy and not clean at all.
Cop out.
I like a clean house, just not an anal retentive white glove house.

It looks like I better get honest with my bad self and hone my sty for Christmas!
Bah Humbug!

Monday, December 5, 2011


What a whirlwind of a weekend!
I'm exhausted.
We'll catch up later.
In the mean time, enjoy staring at the pretty lights.
I certainly did!

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Challenge

I do not own a house, I am lucky enough to be owned by a home. A home where we live, love, play and create. With such a joyfully creative clan, I choose to encourage their masterpiece rather than worry about their mess. This becomes a bit of a hiccup in two instances.

Sometimes my mind has had enough of the clutter and needs some clarity at which time everyone pitches in and cleans, cleans, cleans.

Once in a while I do something completely erratic like host a home party. It is then that I feel the real chaos. Not the chaos of my home. My home is not filthy but it is most certainly lived in. When someone ropes me into a home party I feel the need to present my house as something it is not. Picture perfect. Magazine spread ready.

I'm hosting one of those events this evening. Ugh! Why oh why does the word "no" escape me? So I'm stressing away about my house and all the preparations for the "perfect" evening. Bah humbug. I don't like perfection. The stress over making my house seem like something is not has been weighing on me. This morning I decided that rather than presenting the perfect house, I will present a loving home. In my eyes, it is the better of the two.

I looked up some quotes on housework. Then, I created one of my own!

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

Our house is clean enough to be healthy,
and dirty enough to be happy.  ~Author Unknown

We labor to make a house a home, then every time we're expecting visitors, we rush to turn it back into a house.  ~Robert Brault

If the shelves are dusty and the pots don't shine,
it's because I have better things to do with my time.
~Author Unknown
One cannot create a masterpiece 
without first creating a mess. ~Lynn Retzlaff

Thursday, December 1, 2011


Do these cinnamon rolls make my butt look big?

Now to get my mouth to care!

I made a batch yesterday.

They are unbelieveable!

Santa should definitely put them on the naughty list!

Want to make your own?

WARNING! You'll want to eat everything too!
LOVE this sight!

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