That sums up a lot of my life. I have been know to say that I am the second worst decision maker in the world married to the worst! Between the two of us I am suprised anything ever gets accomplished! This blog is a good example. I thought about having this blog for a long time. I thought and thought and thought. A lot of what I do is cranial and lacking in action. I question everything! Suprisingly, after much thought and swallowing down the big lump of fear and doubt, I did it! I started this blog.
The idea was to have a place to jot down all the "stuff" that floats around in my head. In 3D land my experience with this is quite chaotic. I do a lot of thinking in the shower since it's the only place I am ever alone (for the most part). I write on the shower walls but it tends to wash away and once I am done showering and shut the door, my musings are literally "out of sight, out of mind". I write on scraps of paper or fill random notebooks but this ends up being a very scattered and disorganized manner of keeping track of thoughts. Thinking a blog would be a good outlet (everything is in one place and I am finally putting myself out in the world creatively) led me to question everything about it.
Oooooh, I hate criticism and tend to take it too personally so it doesn't feel safe. What if what I write something and then change my mind about it later? There are soooo many blogs out there, what if no one reads mine? What if someone does? What if no one relates? What if a lot of people relate? What if I have nothing to say? What if I come across as a whack job? Does any of it matter? Why would I want to publicize random thoughts? Wouldn't it be great if others found it a safe place to share their random thoughts with me?
The initial intention was to name the blog "Cranial Vomit" as that is what I was thinking. When you have eaten too much whether self induced or mom making you finish your plate or your caring grandmother force feeding you because your slightly overweight frame looks "too skinny" for her, eventually your stomach must relieve itself of the contents and... you vomit. Such a harsh word. I thought it was catchy, memorable, made sense to me but the response from the few people I questioned was not good. So I opted for purge. Cranial purge is the ridding of ones mind of overindulgence in thought whether self-inflicted (living in your head) or fed by others (media, friends and family, whatever).
Not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone but me. I guess that's what this blog is about! If you get it, welcome and feel free to purge along with me! Please be nice to each other (and to me). Loving vibes are the best vibes.
If you find yourself saying "WTF?" thanks for checking it out anyways. Peace and love to ya as you move on to other bigger and better blogs!