12-12-12

Today is 12-12-12

In WI that means it's Aaron Rogers Day. (Packers #12)

In Las Vegas it means record wedding day (for luck)

In my house it means less than two weeks until Christmas and I don't have anything done!

Today is a day of cleaning, decorating, shopping and preparing for a few days of baking.

I had no warning that it was going to be a magical number day.

It doesn't feel magical.

I missed all the hype.

I've been too preoccupied with the numbers 12-21-12.

A flip of two numbers and the meaning is entirely changed.

From good luck

to

the end of the world.

All due to the order of two little digits.

I'm a bit more optimistic than that. 

I see 12-21-12 as the possibility of a new world.

With so many people focusing on the day being the possibility of the end of the world, even if they're not committed to believing it's really going to happen, the date has at least brought about an awareness of the possibility, which gets people thinking about what matters, what they want to change, how precious life is and how very fleeting. There is a movement of spiritual awakening happening across the globe and I believe there are many people focusing on the date as not the end of the world, but the end of the world as we know it. Raising an awareness of "we're all in it together" and "we are all connected". I believe with so much energy focused on one single day (and it has been focused there for some time) there is great potential that all the collected energy could mean big change. My hope it that it is a day of big positive change. The world won't end. Some will be laughing at the silliness of it all which will cover the globe in laughter. Some will be secretly relieved and relax filling the waves with calm happiness. Some will mark it as a day to make positive changes (like a second chance) putting more positive energy out there. It will be a day of Global Positivity and hopefully with enough love and positivity charging up the universe, it will be the first day of a new world. A world of people recognizing just how amazing the world actually is, how precious life is. How good happiness and love feel, and they will want to keep that feeling alive.

Reverb - Gift

Reverb prompt:

Gift - This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?   I'm no good at picking favorites or the "most" something. Never have been. How can I pick one thing definitively over another? The kids try to play this game with me. "What's your favorite color?" The red of a rose, the white of the snow, the green of moss, the color of my children's eyes. One favorite? "What's your favorite food?" Depends on my mood. Depends if it's dinner, desert, who it's prepared by. And why pick one? There are so many moments in every day. So much good in the world. Why pick? I appreciate every gift I have received this year whether tangible and/or emotional. Every single one. I have had many a memorable moment and emotional high. I refuse to lessen any one over another. I am thankful for every breath I take, every friend I make. I refuse to play favorites.

Reverb - Defining Moment

  Reverb prompt:

Defining Moment - Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.   This one sounds similar to a few previous reverb prompts. And how to pick just one moment or series when every moment affects. Perhaps I am just not in the mood to play along today. Instead I am going to ask for your prayers. My dear Lennon boy has eaten some chrysanthemum leaves and is very, very sick. Ends up they are very toxic to cats. The vet did not want to see him after hours last evening as he was still up and around and acting (mostly) like himself but he was throwing up bloody water. She said he probably has stomach irritation and that she would like to see him right away this morning. He curled up in a laundry basket of clean clothes in my room last night and I couldn't sleep. He just wasn't himself at all. He can't keep food down. He's not playing or running. His eyes say, "I don't feel good. Make it go away." His kitten playfulness gone. This morning I woke and went to the basket. He weakly lifted his head and gave me a little chirp. I started petting him and he purred. He won't get up. It's 2 1/2 hours until the vet opens. He finally got up. It's 1 1/2 hours until vet opens. He's acting a bit better but still unable to hold food down. They will draw blood. What else? I'm unsure. Please say a prayer for my Lennon boy. I said many as I fell asleep but it seems as if he needs more. Sincerest thanks.

Reverb - Achieve

Reverb prompt: 

Achieve - What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.   I want to achieve having a steady income that I produce from home doing something I am passionate about. It will make me feel more independent, more free of worries, more successful, more self-fulfilled. With all of the fore-mentioned, will come more happiness with self. I love the second part of this prompt. Makes me stop thinking and start acting NOW. Also allows me to see that rather than waiting for the outcome and achievement at a later date, I can create the feeling now which will help move my actions toward what I want to achieve. Why wait to achieve something to get the good feelings I want? Why not feel good while achieving?!!!

Actions and Thoughts

1. think about all I have achieved in life and how capable I am of achieving more

2. hug my kids, hug my kids, hug my kids!!!

3. go in my basement and create something

4. clear clutter

5. write in my journal

6. smile!

7. focus

8. meditate

9. read, read, read (books I have been waiting to absorb to learn skills I want to hone)

10. think positive

Ordinary Joy

Reverb prompt: 

Ordinary Joy - Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?   I have many joyful ordinary moments on a daily basis. Some of my favorite involve connecting with others. Just a few weeks back my kids and I were standing in the checkout at the grocery store. We were trying to figure out what the name of one of the characters was in Charlie Brown. The checkout girl joined in and we still couldn't agree on who everyone was and what the missing name was so we asked the bagger. It ended up a big exchange of figuring between my kids, myself, the checker and bagger. We still couldn't agree (when you have four kids you buy enough groceries to be at check out for a bit!). All of a sudden, the lady behind me in line sheepishly threw out the correct name. We were all soooo excited we were smiling and laughing and thanking her. She tried to avoid contact and smiled sheepishly as she turned sideways. The rest of us all seemed rather outgoing and not afraid of interaction while the lady with the proper answer seemed very timid and shy. BUT.... it must have been driving her nuts inside to listen to us when she had the answer all along. She finally burst and put the answer out there connecting with all of us. Shy or not, she connected and she was smiling. It was so much fun to talk to all of them. So much fun to pull that gentle soul out of hiding. I love meeting strangers in checkouts.

Reverb - Soul Food

Reverb prompt:

Soul Food - What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?   So many foods to choose from! My birthday dinner, my special lunch date with fellow bloggers, the food my children and I grew in our garden or the dinner I lovingly prepared today out of fresh ingredients for our holiday gathering. All healthy, pure foods wonderfully prepared with special memories to accompany. I have consumed quite a bit of soul food this year nourishing body, mind and soul.

The kid's favorite produce to grow in the garden.

Mini melons.

They mature and ripen to a size small enough so they get their very own personal melons.

Reverb - Photo (a no go)

Reverb prompt:

Photo – a present to yourself

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.   It's Christmas!!! As a gift to myself I am skipping today's prompt. Rarely are there photos take of me as I am always the one behind the camera and it sounds quite treacherous to me to search for photos today. Instead, I will take this opportunity to wish all of you the happiest of holiday seasons no matter how or what you celebrate! The new year is quickly approaching and I want to take the opportunity to thank all of you for your friendships, the memories, the connections made over the miles. I feel truly blessed to have shared in the lives of every one of you. Love and peace to all.

 Darling husband and I went to bed after midnight. Youngest son woke at 1a.m.!!!

He could not fall back asleep and came in waking us regularly

until he finally proceeded to get the whole house out to the tree.

All presents were opened by 6:30 a.m. Can you believe?!?!?!

Reverb prompt:
Everything’s OK - What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?  I should probably go with the first moment that popped into my head. I am going to go back to my earlier post about our van trip to Colorado. When we arrived with a broken van that kept on breaking I felt miserable. Sad for the kids, mad at the van, guilty that my husband, cousin, uncle and son were spending days on end working on a vehicle, frustrated that our vacation fund was being spent on vehicle repairs. None of those negative feelings lasted more than a fleeting moment. Everyone came together and embraced the challenge. The kids were happy to visit with family and hang out at my aunt's house. The men bonded over the engine puzzling, telling stories and laughing. The women took care of the kids, the meals, the men, and the chatting. No one saw it as a burden. Everyone took it in stride. Just one of those things. We had down time after a long trip. With the money spent, we changed our itinerary from deep mountain travel with camping, shopping, tourism to a more relaxed itinerary of day trips to closer locations for free fishing, hiking, basking, site seeing. We had picnics, we told stories, we relaxed, we laughed. It was absolutely perfect! 
Knowing that when life hands this family lemons we have the ability come together wherever we are with whatever we have available and make vats of delicious, sweet, lemonade with a recipe full of laughter and love. That truly is the sweetest kind. 

How to incorporate it into the year ahead? Simple. The knowledge is there. Use it!

 top pic: bonding over blasted van

middle pic: fishing up Poudre Canyon

bottom pic: rock skipping contest in the Poudre

Reverb - Name

Reverb prompt:

New Name - Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?   Wow. Never thought I'd see this subject matter in reverb. Interesting. I have issues with my name. I don't like being called by it. Call it an identity crisis if you will. I was always told by my grandmother that my name was going to be Gertrude (which is a lie). Mom said she wanted to name me Mary after my aunt and grandma (three Marys? perhaps too much). So the story goes, my parents couldn't agree on a name so my dad finally settled it by saying flat out, "her name is gonna be Lynn". Not that it had meaning or was special or pretty, just to settle an argument. Then he walked. My brother used to torture me with my name repeating it over and over and over and over in condescending tone. He was a bully growing up. Add all that to the dysfunctional mayhem that was my life growing up and I tend to have some identity issues. I don't identify well with my younger self. I don't identify at all with my name. I hate it actually. My own husband knows not to call me by name and never does. A few friends do. Not often. Sometimes it grinds at me and I can't hear what the person is saying because once they say my name I get tripped up and can't stop feeling frustrated with the sound long enough to hear what follows. Sort of like having your name called out over the intercom at a store. Stops you in your tracks and makes you feel uncomfortable.

Darling Husband and I sometimes play the name game. We'll talk about changing our name to Rockefeller and dream of extravagance. Or we'll pick a name that sounds uber ridiculous and make up all sorts of crazy back stories to go with. I have thought long and hard about other names. If I could change my name, what would I want to change it to. Funny thing? I never found one to fit. I actually kinda like being somewhat nameless and anonymous. I think that's partially why I fell in love with the internet.

Names are strange to me. I'm not great at remembering them and don't often use them to address someone. Feels like a label to me. I'm getting more and more used to my name. I can introduce myself by name if necessary. I am practicing writing it in case I were ever to become a famous author or artist (however I found that I like writing my initials better than my name). If you meet me and ask what I like to be called, I'll tell you "whatever. you can call me Lynn, chickie poo, hey you, I'll answer to whatever". I'm casual like that.   ;)

What name do I love best? I love being called Mommy!!!!

To answer the question, I guess I better not use any other name than my own. I'm still on the path to accepting it. Why mess that up?

On a side note, if you ever run into me, how about calling me Friend? Yeah. I like the sound of that.

Reverb - Travel

Reverb prompt:

Travel - How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?  This past year was a lousy travel year. We usually get one decent trip out of the year and a few smaller trips (local camping or water park). This past year we were only able to do one trip. It was our nearly annual trip to Colorado to visit relatives. The trip was a bomb!!!! Basically, we spent the first half of the trip doing this...

Our van slowly fell apart on the way out. When we reached our destination we did so with no air conditioning, no fans and a loud van. They fixed the first of the problems. We took it for a drive to see how she was sounding and the radiator blew. Spent the next day gathering parts and fixing the radiator, hoses & the likes to find out the U-joints were crap. Three days into our trip we still had a noisy vehicle, no money and tired guys. We decided to risk it and take a much deserved break in the mountains. 

No money left so we simply drove, hiked, fished. It rained and rained, boy 2 accidentally dropped a cactus in the lap of boy 3 and I had to find a pharmacy high up in the mountains to buy a tweezers to pull fine little prickers out of boy's butt and thighs. There were other minor hiccups to the trip as well but we were able to see the mountains, spend time with family and made it home in one piece. Oh. Except for the van. It's quite a miracle that we made it home. We were grinding so loud! Ends up the whole rear end of the van was out. We took it in to have it fixed. While it was in the parking lot waiting for the part, someone drove in and hit it. Like over $3000 damage hit it.


I also had a trip to Florida in the fall with darling husband. I had to cancel due to family crisis. Hubs went without me as it was for his work.

I do not have much travel under my belt and there are many places I would love to see. My dream location is Tuscany but I am aware it will be well after 2011. 


I would love to visit friends across the miles whom I've never met in person. I have dreamed of the west coast for seven years now. I want to see the ocean and I want my family with me. I would love to take a small RV and travel for a month (more if I could) stopping in little towns, taking in nature's splendor with hikes and swims, visiting farmers markets, flea markets, eating the local fare of wherever we plant our feet for the night. Before I start really dreaming and adding detail, I better get my butt to the store for some lottery tickets! Gotta run!

Reverb - Future Self

Reverb prompt:

Future Self - Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?   I'm going to answer this one very briefly simply because I work very hard at trying to live in the present moment. I've learned that you can't go back in time so why dwell. You can't control what is to come so why obsess. However, it is important to learn from your past and plan for your future so I will play along. Briefly.

To Future Self: Shift out of neutral and start moving now! There are great things waiting for you in the future so stop fearing and start living!!!!

To Past Self:  (said with a giant bear hug) I love you incredibly. You deserve good and it's coming your way. Trust that you are enough. You'll make it. You'll see. 

Totally off subject. I've been having problems taking photos for some time. The above shot was taken this past summer. Whether I use manual or auto, I think the shot is clear when I take it. Once it's on the computer, it looks out of focus. Is it my eyes? Is it my camera? Computer screen? It's not 100% of the time, but quite often.

What's the trouble with focus lately? Ha! That's funny. I just realized something after typing that out. 

I did some praying lately and asked for help.

Know what came to mind?

One word.

focus.

Hmmm.... Interesting....

Reverb - Avoidance

Reverb prompt:

Beyond Avoidance - What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing?   There were a lot of things I could have (don't like the word "should" here) done. Part of the reason for non-completion was ill use of time. Funny thing. We have already had this prompt only it was worded differently. Rather than wasting time (wink) I am going to guide you to the answer HERE. 

As to not shortchange you, I'm adding pictures of my husband's latest chainsaw carving for your visual pleasure! I'm also adding a picture of his fairy carving as I will be adding it to my Etsy shop very soon.

 

Reverb - Healing

Reverb prompt:
Healing - What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?   As my faith grew, my healing grew. As I gain faith in my fellow human beings, so I gain faith in myself healing my heart. As I gain faith in myself, so I gain faith in my abilities and visions healing my mind. As I gain faith in my own heart, so I gain faith in my Higher Power, healing my soul. As I gain faith in my Higher Power, so I gain faith in life healing my ego. It is all connected like a chain. Every element connected to every other. The stronger each link, the stronger the chain. The chain grows in thickness as layers of faith and wisdom are laid on. As the chain grows, our strength grows. We need that strength to carry the weight of the chain. Are we ever really healed? Perhaps the healing is not complete until we have passed on. The weight of the lessons, the ego, the body thoughts, feelings and emotions are shed. The chain is dropped and we are left with weightlessness and peace. I am thankful for the strength I am gaining, the faith that is growing within me, and the healing process that is occurring. Some day I will be healed completely. For now, I am thankful for the strength to carry my chain. I hope to build it big and carry it far.


Unsure of whether what I was feeling at the time of writing this was coming across clearly, I read it to my husband. He had a hangup with the whole "chain" thing. He said chains are viewed as heavy, as burdens. That if I'm talking of growth and healing, it should make us lighter. I told him life is hard, lessons are hard, caring is hard. The people that go through life not caring, not growing, not loving gain chains as well but theirs are made with lead to represent heavy, dark burdens. Those who love, learn, care and grow have chains made of gold which are beautiful and valuable. Those with dead weight lead chains drag them around, weak and unhappy. Those with precious gold chains have gained the strength to carry them through life proud and strong.
I guess Darling Husband has a point, but I'm hoping what I wrote comes across the way I saw it in my mind's eye.

 (my birthday camping trip in Door County, WI - 2007)

Reverb - Try

Reverb prompt:

Try - What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?   I tried to live out loud this year, but proceeded to only turn up the volume a few decibels. I tried to create more but allowed busyness to get in the way most of the time. I tried to harness my dreams but they just ran wilder with every throw of the lasso. I tried to become financially successful but the money tree never bloomed. I tried to keep positive about it all and for the most part succeeded. I tried to learn and grow on a daily basis and believe I did.  Next year I would like to try the same and more, but with a better success rate!

Reverb - Lesson Learned

Reverb prompt:

Lesson Learned - What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?   I learned that I'm okay and I'm worth it. I will apply this lesson by trusting my instincts, purging my inner wisdom, spending alone time. I will delve deeper into self-expression and put myself out there raw and vulnerable trusting the powers that be to clothe me in acceptance and love. I will continue to accept myself for who I am and remind myself that I am enough.

There's something about age. It's as if our insides take the energy from our youthful vibrant shells and transform it into wisdom. Our outsides start to look worn and weathered while our insides start to illuminate brighter and brighter. Perhaps it was the tenth anniversary of my 29th birthday this year that has caused this ease of self. Whatever the cause, I accept the gift.

I spend a couple days a week watching a friend's toddler. She's an absolute doll! As I was watching her play yesterday, I thought "This is how I want to approach life." There she sat on the floor living in the present moment. She was observing, learning and striving to achieve. The task before her seemed simple. Put the right block in the right space. She did not grow frustrated. Her attempts were not perfect and the task was not completed yet she did not feel failure. She attempted, she learned, she enjoyed and she moved on. The best part? She sat in her little dress with legs spread wide, drool running down her face without a care in the world. Not an ounce of concern over what others might think. Now that's living!!!! It's amazing how much we can learn by observing children.

Reverb - Friendship

Reverb prompt:

Friendship - How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?   My friendships close to home are steady and strong. I am blessed with good friends and love. They affect me positively every day. Having good friends is character building and heartwarming. The friendships made here in the good ol' blog-o-sphere have changed my perspective on the world. These friendships have taught me how much good is out there in the world. I have felt love and acceptance over the miles. I have had deep conversations and belly laughs. My world has expanded incredibly while simultaneously shrinking by bringing some amazing new friends into my heart. I have faith in the goodness of people again. There are beautiful, talented, loving, wise people out there. I'm so glad you are now also right here (puts hand over heart). You know who you are!!!! Thank you, Thank you, for entering my heart. It has grown many sizes bigger this year. Much love to you all.

Reverb - Imagine

Reverb prompt:
5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.  Ugh! I don't like this prompt at all! If reverb is about manifesting what's to come, I certainly don't want to sit here imagining myself losing my memory!!! And looking back at an entire year to grab the most important memories in five minutes? I refuse to put that kind of pressure on myself. An icky feeling prompt.
How about I take five minutes to gather up friends and family, put my arms around all of them and make a new memory. The memory of the love of those near and dear to me.  Then I can keep the rest of my year as well.   :)    Sorry. Broke the rules on this one!

Reverb - Appreciate

Reverb prompt:
Appreciate - What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?   Looking back at all of the challenges and hard times of this past year, I would have to conclude that what I appreciate most is the strength of my marriage and therefore my family. We have had to deal with some major challenges, sometimes ugly and down to the nitty gritty but we always pulled through, together. Every challenge has posed a chance to learn, grow and come together which is what always happens in the end. Having a strong marriage sets a strong foundation for the family. I feel blessed to have a stable and loving environment to raise my children. My family is the most important facet of my life. On a daily basis I let my husband and children know how much they mean to me, how much I love them and how thankful I am to have such an amazing family. I am one lucky lady.

Reverb - Action

Reverb prompt:

Action - When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?  Since I believe in the power of suggestion, if you think about something long enough and put enough energy toward it, it will come to fruition, I figured I would re-write my list of eleven. Rather than concentrate on how to rid my life of eleven negatives, I will flip the list. Find the opposite of the eleven and concentrate on bringing those words into my vocabulary. Positive affirmations. The eleven words I will be focusing on are...

Guilt - innocence
Pressure - ease, peace
Stress - relaxation
Mess - organization
Fear - courage
Doubt - faith
Pounds - health
Debt - abundance
Inaction - action
Perfectionism - acceptance
Worry - calmness

Speaking of action, that is now one of my words! My first action will be to keep this list where I can see it. A constant reminder to put these words to action in my life. 

Side Note:

This is the scene outside my patio door this morning.

Having trouble with blogger so I can't get it to show up bigger.

It is -25 below zero with the windchill.

They have canceled school.

Brrrr!

 

Reverb - Body Integration

Reverb prompt:

Body Integration - This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?   I was almost thinking this prompt does not relate to me. Being a victim of a condition causing chronic pain, there tends to be no cohesive to mind and body. My body and mind fight constantly as I deal with pain. Then it occurred to me. The Shower!!! I love taking showers. Sometimes when I get in the shower and crank it on HOT, with eyes closed, listening to the sound of the water cascading, feeling the heat penetrating my neck and shoulders, opening up my crown chakra, my body relaxes, the pain subsides, my mind sharpens. The words and thoughts flow. I feel whole. I feel relaxed. I feel free of worry, trouble and pain.