Mastering Meditation

It's lamb season at the farm.

Watching those sweet fuzzy babies brings peace to my heart.

Today's news headline brings hope to so very many.

Peace and hope.

Important words.

Light words.

Love words.

I have tried for YEARS to meditate

finding it near impossible to shut down the chattering of my brain.

To focus.

My breathing is not steady and I struggle in that area as well.

I am ecstatic to say I have cracked the code!

Not everyone wants to meditate.

Not everyone who practices has difficulty.

For those who do, you have to find what works for you.

Some approach meditation traditionally.

Some walk and meditate.

Some use visualization.

Some use prayer.

I am going to share my technique in hopes it will help someone else

who is struggling, find a way that works for them.

 *******

The term "Let go and let God".

Valuable

You do not have to be religious.

You do not have to be of a particular religion.

Consider God to be God, Higher Power, Divine Being, Energy.

Whatever your belief.

I have practiced "Let go and let God".

It has been important to me.

I tend to have control issues.
I tend to take on too much.

I tend to live cranial.

One night as I was sitting in bed

very troubled

trying to meditate

I decided to let go and let God.

Something clicked.

I applied it to meditation.

As I exhaled, I thought "Let go"

(let go of worry, anxiety, control, all the negative, exhale it out of your body)

As I inhaled, I thought "Let God"

(bring in the good, the love, the peace, the positive, inhale and fill your body with good)

Exhale = Let Go

Inhale = Let God

Exhale

Inhale

Exhale

Inhale

As I said those four little words

visualizing all negative leaving with the exhaled breath

and all positive entering on the inhale

I achieved my first successful meditation session.

Call it prayer,

call it meditation, 

call it whatever you wish.

It works for me

and perhaps it will work for you as well.

May you have a Peace and Hope filled day!

Happy Monday!

Minute by Minute

Life

Time

~~~

Valuable

Fleeting

I had an eye opening first few hours of my day today.

It really has me thinking about life.

The big picture.

The little things.

What matters.

Love

I woke all my children and one by one helped them get ready for school,

hugged them goodbye, told them I loved them and wished them a happy day.

Joy

I stood at the patio door and watched the world through a rain streaked window.

The cold, dreary morning was not bringing me down, rather, I enjoyed watching the raindrops race to the bottom and felt happy to have a warm, safe house from which to watch the cold, dank weather.

Sorrow

I sat at my computer to check on my fellow bloggers.

Tears swelled and ran down my face just as the rain runs down my window.

I found out one of my fellow bloggers was just diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer.

Such a talented, vibrant, wonderful woman.

She needs prayers. I am sending them in mass.

Gratitude

Another blogger had a video on her blog this morning.

It was so inspiring and touching and important that I plan on using it as a morning meditation.

It is touching, inspiring and beautiful.

Visit the link. You will be moved.

Two little hours were filled with so very much.

Life

Time

~~~ 

Valuable

Fleeting

Make every moment count.

Soak

Soak

Permission granted, photograph and poem © E. H. Thumm

Soaking away the worries

washing away the tears

leaving behind the hurries

drowning all my fears.

Hot water calming

candlelight fills the room

underwater sounding

comforting like a womb.

Meditation finds me

unsteady feelings relax away

peaceful, calm and free

praying for ease to stay.

Naked, raw and real

it is a moment of truth

sacred space to heal

all the pain of my youth.

~ E. H. Thumm

Birthday List

For my birthday I was going to gift myself with a list. I am a chronic list maker

so it should be no problem to write out a simple little list.

Ends up, this list of mine was quite the challenge.

I turned 39 with an incomplete list.

The list? 

40 by 40

(yup! a to-do list of things to accomplish by my 40th birthday)

I thought if I gifted it to myself for my 39th birthday, I would have a whole year to complete the list.

"The list" will be used as a motivational tool to act on what I want from life. 

To be able to say I have done "x", "y" and "z" by the age of forty would be fulfilling.

I would enter my 40's feeling accomplished

and ready to take on 40+ more years!

Should I psycho-analyze the fact that I failed to complete the list in time?

Naaaah!

I'll just mark off number 7!

Ha!

One down, thirty-nine to go!

At least now I know what to add as #1!

1. finish my 40 by 40 list
2. get in shape
3. visit the west coast
4. conquer NaNoWriMo
5. express fearlessly
6. re-learn algebra
7. keep my sense of humor
8. practice yoga/meditation regularly
9. journal regularly
10. thank-you project
11. experiment with henna tats
12. master my breath
13. photo shoot
14. visit 1/2 dozen authentic delis
15. take better care of my Etsy shop
16. have steady income
17. make time for my art
18. get published (again)
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38.
39.
40. accept and embrace 40

All over the map

Following a trail to a far off place.

Not sure where I'm going.

Know all too well where I've been.

I wander from the trail

exploring and discovering

all the world has to offer.

There is breathtaking scenery

and there is danger lurking.

I get lost.

I call for help.

Someone find me.

Guide me.

Perhaps a compass would help.

Or clear directions to where true north lies.

I have neither.

Instead I must look within.

Find my center.

A good starting point for sure.

I've been all over the map lately. My word of the year (focus) seems to be most challenging. Obviously the correct choice for me as I am proving over and over that I need to work harder at it. I'm feeling lately that it could be my word of the decade for how challenging it has been. I am Stretch-Arm-Strong in a daycare being pulled in too many directions at once.

I am currently facing some life altering challenges and decisions. Some I have the ability to influence the outcome, some I have absolutely no control over. For both types of situation the best bet is to find my center and move on from there. Focus and carry on. Challenging for sure. Think I'll go revisit my meditation post.

Reflection (w/Lennon udate)

re·flec·tion   (www.dictionary.com)

1. the act of reflecting or the state of being reflected.

2. an image; representation; counterpart.

3. a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.

4. a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.

Here we are.

The last day of 2010.

365 consecutive days over.

A new batch busting at the seams to cut loose.

How was your year?

Did it treat you good?

Did you treat you good?

What did you learn?

What would you change?

What moments would you savor and live over and over?

What are your hopes and dreams for 2011?

Do you have a resolution?

... a word chosen?

This is a day to reflect.

To dream.

To choose.

To guide us into the new year.

May all your hopes and dreams

come true for you

this bright and beautiful new year.

May you learn, love and live life to the deepest and fullest.

May you be blessed

as you have blessed me

with friendship

love

and laughter.

Happy New Year to

Beautiful YOU!!!! 

Lennon Update: Brought him back to the vet this morning as he is almost four days with no food. They gave him a shot to stop the vomiting and injected fluids under his skin. Sent me home with more prescription cat food to keep trying and two shots that I am supposed to administer (gulp!). One this evening and one tomorrow morning. He is doing very well considering circumstances. Thank you for your continued prayers. Will keep you updated.

 

Quiet

   
Sorry I have been quiet again lately. Life has taught me a lot of lessons this past year (my whole life really) and I have been experiencing more periods of introspect which causes me to avoid my blog. I tend to keep things light here. Not too heavy, not too personal. Even now I am fidgeting in my seat and contemplating getting up to do something else (anything) rather than share this story.

     The reason for the title of my blog (Cranial Purge) was to dump some of the overflow of thought that runs through my brain. I cannot dump it all or I would never get off the page as my mind produces enough thought to fill a gazillion pages. That being said, I tend to be very selective about what I do share attempting not to get too personal (for fear of judgment), not wanting to write about anything that might be even a tad controversial (as I fear confrontation), not wanting to work too hard at succeeding (for fear of failure) and on and on.

     My whole life has been spent in fear. It is depressing, scary, stifling and paralyzing. Last year I chose to work with the word "faith" all year. The Universe must have taken that as a challenge as it was one of the hardest years I have ever been dealt (and I have been through hell in the past my friends). It was also perhaps the most growth inducing. It is also the reason for my year (plus) on-again-off-again relationship with my blog.

     Faith and trust seem to be the opposite of fear and I was challenged to embrace both through some very difficult times. Almost a year ago I was faced with some information that nearly ended my marriage. A month later I faced a diagnosis with the potential to be life threatening. Two very large pills to swallow back to back with little time and no water. Talk about fear. First I had to face raising four children alone. Then I had to face the fact that I might not be around to raise my four children at all.

     I cried my way through much of last year. I chose to stay in my marriage and we have been working tirelessly to fix what was broken. I have worked with medical professionals as well as dietary and holistic work to heal my body. I have been reading and researching and practicing affirmations, mindfulness, yoga, meditation and anything else I can get a hold of to heal my mind. I stuck with the word Faith to connect with soul.

Body, Mind, Soul

     I have been diligently doing the work to keep all three healthy and whole. I will continue to do so praying for it all to stick.

     Most recently, I have been helping to clean and caretake for a friend's (more like a sister) father who is dying of cancer. He is losing his battle quickly. Much faster than anyone imagined. He is ready. He wants to move on. He misses his wife whom he lost unexpectedly a mere eight months ago. He hopes to be reunited. The pain of hanging on has been hardest for him.

     I cannot help but wonder if the humbling gift of caring for Barry during this time may have been given to me as a precursor for what is to come. My own Stepfather (really a father) has stage four terminal lung cancer. He has been fighting like a champ, but his news recently was not good. It is a much more personal battle as the loss will be extremely painful.

     Life is precious. Life is fragile. Life is fleeting.

     I look at life differently than I did a year ago. Life used to be spent in survival mode. Now I am learning to live. My ridiculous sense of humor and my crazy will to survive has gotten me this far (without becoming a raging alcoholic, drug addict, or angry suicidal maniac)but it has not been a very good existence. 

     Now, my eyes are open, my heart is open and I am trusting and embracing my precious life for all it has to offer. This year I chose the word "love" and I am starting with myself. Self-love starts with self-acceptance, at least for those of us that lack it. 

Imagine if every child were taught self-love. Imagine how much better the world would be. When you truly value yourself (I'm not talking in a narcissistic, egotistical way), you see how important your life is and you can project that out to others. You can see that each person, regardless of their wounds, quirks, attitudes, are perfectly imperfect just like you.

     I'm not saying to spend time with people who are hurtful, mean, abusive, manipulative or in any other way damaging to you. That would not be practicing self-love. In those cases, simply wish them well, send them love and move on. I am really starting to see that love truly IS the answer.

     Do me a favor, would you please? Take a moment to send some love out into the world. List your gratitudes. Feel your heart swell when you think of those you love. Look in the mirror and smile and be thankful for the gift of your life and fall in love with yourself. Imagine those in the world who are suffering, hurting, lonely. Send them love. Imagine your love frequency moving out into the universe, combining with all the other love being sent out. Let's wrap this planet in love, shall we? 

     Yup. I'm sappy and strange like that. A year ago I might not have posted this post. Now? I lose the fear of judgment, have faith that my words will land with those who need them, and love everyone. Yup. Even the haters. After all, they are the most in need of love.

We are so small yet so powerful. Use your power for good.



This was a heavy post. If you read through to the end, I thank you for staying as I feel my message is an important one. Tomorrow, I have a funny for you to lighten the mood! I am seriously considering a second blog for heavy. This poor blog never did have much direction. Perhaps I can have my fun here and keep the heavy on another page. We'll see. For now, I send you off with love.