Wednesday, April 27, 2011

What if...

What if you woke every morning with the spirit of a child?
Every speck of nature a mystery.
Every color of the rainbow sheer joy.
Every person you met your new best friend.

What if you woke every morning with a fresh new outlook?
Every possibility waiting for you.
Every capability owned by you.
Every moment new and valuable.

What if you lived today like it was your last?
Every loved one embraced.
Every moment cherished.
Every experience fully appreciated.

What if you lived your life outloud?
Every action intentional.
Every dream reached for.
Every bit of yourself accepted by yourself.

What if you loved yourself unconditionally?
Every flaw erased and viewed as uniqueness.
Every inch of your skin viewed as the perfect gift of creation.
Every fiber of your being filled with love from the inside radiating out.

What if you saw the magic in life?
Every fairytale a possibility.
Every wish, hope and dream believed.
Every day a gift of spirit.

Well? What are you waiting for!
It's up to you!
Start your day with "What if...?"
Choose to answer with "YES! I can!"

Embrace the possibilities.
Believe in yourself.
Live life to the fullest.
Every morning we wake with the gift of a new day.
Spend it wisely.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pain & Profanity

Been MIA around here lately.
Dealing with massive fibro flare.
Doc informed me I'm presenting with thoracic outlet syndrome as well as fibro.
Another pain disorder.
Yay. (note the sarcasm there?)

Shit, shit, shit!
Just what I need.
More pain, less gain.

Fibro causes complications with exercise
which is quite a shame considering endorphin release helps pain
and exercise helps release endorphins.
So what's a girl to do?

Yup. I said it.

Ever notice how a good roll in the hay (temporarily) takes pain away?

If they have learned to bottle serotonin and melotonin,
how come no one has invested in the bottling of endorphin?
Do I hear a money maker?

Then again, one would have to be sure to make them time release capsules.
We wouldn't want the whole world walking around with silly grins,
craving a smoke,
wanting to cuddle!
or would we?!?!?!!!
(best silly grin representation I could find in my files on the fly... tee hee!)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Play Date

A friend and I have play dates.
Creative play dates.
We visit art shows, fiber fares, shop handmade.
Last weekend we had a create date.

I met her at her house and we pulled out some paints and played.
I'm not a painter.
Never used acrylics before.
She handed over a giant canvas (gulp!)
and told me to paint.

It was intimidating.
Gertrude (my inner critic) must have been hiding in the back seat on the way over
because she came out of nowhere and started razzing me.

The music went on, paints were mixed and played with,
I shushed Gertrude and painted.

I know it's no masterpiece and I don't claim to be able to paint
(I love encaustics, mixed media, collage because it's so forgiving).
I did not finish it there as I ran out of time,
but when I stepped back to look at what I had done,
I was pretty darned proud of myself!

I brought my daffodil home and propped it up on the dresser.
When I woke the next morning to see my sunny flower beaming at me
it made me smile.

Take THAT Gertrude!

I challenge you to embrace this day with creative energy.
Kick your critic to the curb.
Write, cook, paint.
Do something creative.
Tap into your inner child and play.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

day 2

Spring Break Day 2

This is why people plan trips
to sunny CA for spring break.


Better run.
I hear a lottery ticket calling my name!
(Disclaimer: Fair weather friends... do not read past this point! It may cause confusion & frustration!)

I love the rain.
It's what makes my state so blessed beautiful.
Hubby and I are annoying like that.
We love driving in it, watching it, even camping in it.
Water. Life source.
Today, I will use this grey and rainy day to do some spring cleaning.
The sound of the rain on the roof is soothing and reminds me that it's a good day show
my shelter some appreciation.

(The weather's been a mixed bag so I thought I would reflect the same with a mixed bag post!)

Monday, April 18, 2011

Spring Break

April 18, 2011
First day of the kid's spring break
Woke up, looked outside.
Where's spring?
Perhaps we should have planned a ski trip!

We've decided to roll with it.
Snowball fights, hot cocoa,
a fire on the patio.
After all, it is quite beautiful!

Friday, April 15, 2011

I Choose

my least favorite politician arrives to speak too close to home
my spring break travel plans have been replaced by paying down debt
the weather has turned cold, windy and snarly
I choose to let the negatives go and focus on the positive

my husband sold his gnome carving

I am enjoying my children's imaginations during car rides
as they watch the light tadpoles (a term they coined)
dance across the van ceiling.

I am finishing a wonderful book about acceptance of a less than perfect home.
"A Perfectly Kept House is the Sign of A Misspent Life"  by Mary Randolph

I am remembering the Lego Duplo tower Baby and I built

to play peek-a-boo

Choosing the positive.
Doesn't that feel better?
Happy Friday to you!
May your weekend be full of positive moments.

Thursday, April 14, 2011



 When I was a young child I had plenty of patience.
Life taught me to rush, push, go, do.
Fight or flight had replaced patience years ago.

I chose to adapt patience back into my life.
It is a struggle at times.
I have come a long way and have gained much in the practice of patience.
I also have moments where I lose it.
Lose patience with life.
With myself.

When I lose patience with the kids I feel the worst.
They don't understand.
They feel the push, the rush, the stress.
Sometimes they cry.

I stop.
It hurts me that it hurts them.

I forgive myself for forgetting patience.
I appologize.
Practice patience once again.

Watch, observe, learn from the children.
They own the key to peace and patience.

Watch, observe, learn from nature.

There, also, lies the key.
As the maple forms it's buds
and slowy,
turns them into beautiful full leaves.

Bask in the shade.
Feel the peace.

You have to be patient
but it is there
and worth the wait.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Good Things Come In Two's

I would like to introduce you to my daughter's blog. She is seven years old and itching to share her art with the world. I have shared some of her pieces (along with her brothers) over the years and now she has a place to call her own. A place for her to express, to inspire, to feel proud. I know she would be tickled to have some followers (besides her mother).  Introducing...

I love to write, rarely share, and never delve in fiction. My normal genre for reading and writing is non-fiction or poetry. Lately I have been back in the saddle of devouring fiction books and studying the art of fiction writing. Writing is something I have been in love with since I first put pencil to paper. It is also something I don't allow myself the time to do. From this day forward, I vow to allow myself time to write and the freedom to share.
I joined two amazing blogs to help me gain confidence, knowledge and practice in the art of writing. The blogs are The Magpie's Pen and The Red Dress Club. I am sharing a piece of my writing below. The prompt was given by The Red Dress Club and will be revealed in green at the end of the piece. Thanks for reading!
p.s. the piece is currently untitled.

I can’t believe I made it to Friday. Getting through the past week has been a nightmare. Attending the funeral of my best friend last Saturday was the hardest thing I have done in my life. Cassie was young and beautiful and always so full of life. She was one of those free spirits who floated effortlessly through life. How could such a vibrant and inspiring young person be taken out so prematurely? It left me pondering some of life’s biggest questions.
What is the purpose of life? If Cassie, who was always helping people and had such a promising future could be taken out of the game of life so early, why am I still here? My life is boring, simple, monotonous. The parts that Cassie didn’t touch, that is.
How can life be so fragile? Cassie was here one minute larger than life, then gone in a mere instant, reduced to meager memories.
Perhaps the biggest question of all, how could anyone possibly think her fall from the window of her art studio be anything but an accident? Suicide? Cassie? No way! That’s the way the report was written and that’s the way it was confirmed. Suicide. Death by intentional fall.
The funeral was beautiful. Her favorite flower was lily-of-the-valley and the funeral parlor had placed gorgeous potted arrangements and cut flower bouquets everywhere. As loved ones walked in they were given a single sprig of lily-of-the-valley with a white satin ribbon tied around the stem. Encouragement was given to go up to a mic at the front of the visitation room and share memories of Cassie. The casket was closed due to the nature of her demise.
I had known Cassie for fifteen years. We met in fourth grade when she moved to our tiny Minnesota town from the warm and glamorous Los Angeles. She walked into the classroom so sure of herself. Not an ounce of fear in her. She was dark haired, sun tanned and had the most stylish clothes. Everyone in the classroom was whispering and pointing but Cassie just walked in, head held high, bright smile on her face and sat confidently in the only available chair, which as fate would have it  was directly in front of me.
Fifteen years of friendship. Fifteen years of girlish boy crushes and shared secrets to the more adult experiences of college and career. How could she be gone? More importantly, how was I supposed to function without her? She was the one who gave me confidence. She was the one who taught me to dream, to live life to the fullest. For the past week I have been left to wallow in loss and self-pity.  
This afternoon I arrived home from work and trudged out to the mailbox to retrieve today’s mail, most likely consisting of bills and junk mail. As I pulled the mail out of the box, I grabbed at the post the box is perched upon to keep from falling over. There was a pink postcard at the top of the stack of mail. It was addressed to me in curly, fancy writing. The “i”’s were topped with little hearts where dots were normally placed. There is only one person in my life with such happy and artistic penmanship. Cassie.
How could it be? Perhaps the suicide theory was correct as stated and this was her last goodbye. The card must have been lost in the mail. How else would it have taken so long to travel across town?
After gaining my balance and my emotional footing I flipped the postcard over. The back contained one simple sentence. “I'm not dead. Meet me tonight at Guido's Pizzeria. Tell no one.”
Overwhelmed with happiness I fled as fast as my stocky legs could carry me and burst through the front door heading straight to the counter to snatch up my purse and keys. I gleefully patted my cat Charlie on the head, slammed the front door and hopped into my VW bug. Reminding myself to drive the speed limit, I headed to the pizzeria.
Could it be? Could it really be? Cassie is alive? Boy does she have some major explaining to do!

Prompt: One week after attending the funeral of a close friend, you receive a postcard in the mail with the words, 'I'm not dead. Meet me tonight at Guido's Pizzeria. Tell no one.'

Monday, April 11, 2011

Tweet Tweet

I do not twitter but I see it everywhere.
Has me wondering.
Is the past tense of twitter...


ha ha ha ha!
Couldn't help myself.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

More Random

The weather outside is a great representation of my week.
The word I would use to describe both is...

s  c  a  t  t  e  r  e  d.

So I present more RaNDoM
in honor of my scattered week.

1. Don't shoot me!!! I know it's a picture containing snow but it's one I have been meaning to play with and I am allowing myself that luxury today. I love this picture and I love this quote! Together they are rather magical, don't you think?

2. I heard Pink's song "F*ck!ng Perfect" this morning on the radio while dropping the kids off to school. I just love her! Her songs share such strong and important messages. When I arrived home I looked up the video. Have you ever related to something so much it hurt? I cried like a baby.

3. Darling Daughter presented me with some lovely flowers she crafted after reading Creative Crafts For Kids.

4. In honor of National Poetry Month I am going to share a few poems of my own.

Hands of the clock
Tickety Tock
Seem to be mocking me
As I live on borrowed time
I am forever soul
But the mind wants more
Tick tock, Tickety Tock
 ~ Lynn Retzlaff
~ ~ ~ ~

My heart is an ocean
swelling with love.
My soul young and innocent
pure white like a dove.
My eyes are cool copper
giving glimpses inside.
My brain is a wall
where I'm accustomed to hide.
 ~ Lynn Retzlaff

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Driving to the store last night.

Darling Daughter: "What are we going to the store for?"

Me: I need to get tampons.

DD: "Oh. (pause) Like the cheerleaders use?"

Me: "What? Um... I guess they might."

DD: "You know. They use them and go 'rah rah rah.'"

Me: "Oh! No Honey. Those are pompons, not tampons!"

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sharing Random

My mind has been a mess of random thoughts lately.
Rather than fight it and try to pull together a centered post,
I thought I would share some random with you.

A wonderful NEW WEBSITE for those in need of healing
or those who wish to become healers.

I recently shared an original quote of mine
and now I will share a quote from my husband.
It is food for thought.
"Do not judge God by the religions of man."  ~ Scott Retzlaff

Pencils! I love new pencils!!!

They're even better when made from recycled items.
The green are old money, the blue are jeans!!!


Finally, something to leave you smiling...
Laughing Babies!!!!

Friday, April 1, 2011

He Got Me Good ~~~UPDATED

My lovely and much appreciated readers: It is April 2nd today. With April Fool's Day over and my prank going over better than I ever imagined, I am clearing the air. The prank was on my blog reader! I never imagined it would actually work but thought anyone hanging in through the whole story with even a smidge of belief would surely be corrected by the last sentence. Since that was not the case, I am bolding and red highlighting the last line. The bridge. The one for sale. And now I thank you all for the best April Fool's Day EVER!!! Oh how you made me laugh! Laughter truly is good medicine. 

April Fool's Day has always been warmly embraced in our home. Maybe even over-embraced. This year tops them all. I woke this morning and almost peed myself.

The sun was just starting to rise and there was a bit of light seeping in from behind the curtains. The alarm went off as usual and I went to do my one time snooze hit. This requires me to put one foot on the ground in order to lean over to the dresser and hit the snooze button. I turned my body, hit foot to ground, reached for the dresser and it wasn't there! When my eyes started to focus I freaked.

We are a bit minimalist in our decor and have bare bones in the bedroom. Lack of clutter and "stuff" and soft dreamy colors allows for the best sleeping conditions (in my opinion). Our room houses a bed, two dressers and a few pictures. That's it. Simple simon.

This morning, however, the dresser was missing. Or so I thought. When I looked around my body slammed back down on the bed in a panicked and dizzy state. What the h....  At first glance I thought I was on the ceiling. After I gained my sense of reality I realized the dressers were on the ceiling and the pictures upside down. Seriously???

Holy Crap! It was the craziest feeling I have ever experienced!!!

I instantly woke my husband with a forearm across the chest. "What the hell did you do? You freak!! Ha ha ha ha!" He turned over and instantly started laughing. He's not normally a fun-loving guy. Sure he can laugh at jokes and get in humorous moods. He can be sarcastic at times but one thing he normally is not is a funny guy.. I am the type that will hide behind a door and scare the bejeebers out of him for my own sick pleasure.

Ha ha ha ha! I'm laughing as I type that. Sick. I know! I'm the one who wakes each child pulling a different prank on each as I do. I'm the jokester. The funny guy. Not him.

What my man is? He's crafty. That's for darned sure. I asked him how the heck he pulled off the ultimate of all pranks and he said he installed white clamp-like gadgets on the ceiling while I was running errands the other day. He said it wasn't easy as he had to find a way to get them in the joists (or whatever the heck he called them) in the ceiling so it could take the weight of the furniture (lucky we have little antique dressers). He also put hangers on the bottom side of the pictures and small nails in the wall. Nothing I would notice as I don't normally look at ceilings and the nails were hidden by the pictures in their normal hanging state.

After I fell asleep, he recruited my teenagers to help him empty all the drawers and flip the dressers so he could clip the feet in. They carefully slid the empty drawers in, rehung the few pictures upside down and that was that. Unbelievable.

Men. Can you believe he went to all that trouble just to out-do me on April Fool's Day? If you do, then I have a bridge to sell you!!!
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