Warning: The following is a rant. If you're sensitive to this kind of thing, please back slowly away from the computer for your own good. If you care to indulge in a little personal ranting, I sure could use some advice, hugs, support. Heck, you can even join in if the spirit moves you!
I've been trying to plan Christmas for my family. How freakin' hard can it be? I grew up with a mom and two brothers (plus Grandma up the street). That's it. Five of us. F I V E ! Christmas should be easy. But it's not. We have lost grandma. That leaves four. Easier yet, right? WRONG!!!! Every year I'm stuck throwing Christmas as my mother does not deal well. My brothers put their (no longer) estranged father first, their in-laws first, nap time first, work first, everything first. I get the job of finding a few measly hours on the friggin' calendar where everyone is free. They started talking January. We're not even going gifts. What's so hard about finding two measly hours to spend together? No one even lives far!!!! They don't put it priority, they don't sacrifice, they have to be "free". BS!!!! There were FOUR of us in that house growing up through all the shit. We only had each other! FOUR!!! Why is that not of value? Why is it not priority? Why am I stuck figuring and re-figuring and re-figuring when we can celebrate Christmas because nothing works for anyone else? Any time works for me! I'm free! Guess what? I'm trying to make everyone else happy and I AM MISERABLE!!!! I should have moved ages ago but I held on to threads. Frayed threads. I'm reduced to tears. It matters to me and I wish it didn't. Now I kick myself. I am this close (holding thumb and pointer mm's apart) to cancelling the Christmas we can't seem to pull off... again. This is the note I will send out.
◆
i am
ebenezer
and you can
all suck it this
holiday season. i'm
do
ne
Come to think of it, why do we bother trying to get together for Christmas if it's so blessed hard? I think some of my family members might be athiest, none of us were brought up religious, and we're not exchanging gifts! Hmmm.... bah humbug!
8 comments:
the holidays do make us crazed in so many ways....
i hope they all see your point of view and give you the best gift ever....closed mouths with no excuses and showing up for a get together. i agree. that's pretty damn simple !!
xo
I understand how much it hurts that other family members don't want to be bothered making it a priority. And you are trying so hard!! Maybe you should pick the day and time and do it. Whoever isn't there....well....screw 'em! Just create a beautiful Christmas for you, your love and your kids. Don't worry about the rest. Make YOU happy!!
Robin's right. It's your house, your plan, your party. You send out the invitation that says the date and time. Period. If they show up they do. If not let it slide. If they come back and say you have to make a change, tell them to host it. Stop making changes for everyone. Your focus is you and those beautiful lil ones that reside under your roof. Make memories that will last for them and let the rest fall away as it may. Love you sweets. Here if you need to rant.
i feel your pain, and i completely agree with robin! at some point you just need to realize you cannot be the person that holds the family together. if you don't do the organizing, then someone else will. and if no one else does, then there you go: your family doesn't want to spend time together. focus on your immediate family and good friends that want to be around you! seriously... i've been there and it's not worth the stress/pain!
My brother used to show up to my Mom's Christmas three months late. Now that's she's gone, I wonder if he regrets that. It's your party, pick a date, invite who you want and have some fun with whoever shows.
Lynn, so sorry your family doesn't share your loyality of gathering for the biggest Holiday of the year. HUGS I wish I lived closer, I wouldn't miss your party. This happened years ago for my family. Back in the late 80's, so we haven't gathered together as family in all these years. It hurt for a while, but my own girls learned a lesson in that, and they make sure we have those times now that they are grown. Course, now they say they didn't like so & so anyway, and they are happier with those they love and want to be around. It's sad, but are the memories from gatherings thru the years that memorable if your stressed out this bad with this one, and some prior to this? Choose the date and time, invite, and who shows, shows, and make those good memories with those present while they are still around. Then come back here and tell us all about it. Much love going your way, and Merry Christmas Lucy-L. HUGS
The trouble is Nacherluver, when you are loving, reliable, honest and sincere some will take this for granted. Knowing no matter what you will pull it all together no matter how unreliable they are. Sometimes you have to let them go in order for those who wish will come back if you´ll have them. Some people sadly find it hard to appreciate love until it is gone.
laughing so hard at your message
....really loving that clever choice of words:)
But sad for the hurt
you're struggling with.
Sending love and hope
that solutions find you
and bring some peace.
-Jennifer
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