I chose my word for the year.
Actually, it chose me.
Earlier on I had a different word.
One I picked. A good one.
An obviously-not-set-in-stone one.
One day I took a shower.
In the shower I asked for guidance.
So much I want to do, learn, experience and accomplish.
So much that needs to get done but never does.
It seems quite impossible due to the million directions I am pulled daily.
The distractions, the clutter and mess of large family living.
The crazy pace that lives seem to take.
Practically pleading for an answer
a word came to me.
I tried the word on.
Ran some errands.
At the store, a book would catch my eye.
Stop me in my tracks.
I started to page through.
The word came again.
I have a list.
There's a sale.
Start looking over sale items.
Not on list.
Driving in the car.
Mind running a million miles an hour.
Almost miss my turn.
I kept the word in the front of my mind for days.
Tried it on for size.
It seemed to keep me on task.
Perhaps this is the perfect word for 2011.
But what should I be focusing on?
Is that really the best word?
After all, I replaced my original word 'compassion' with 'focus'.
Was that the best choice?
Should one really give up compassion for focus?
Can't I have both?
I'm already compassionate, do I need to work harder at it?
Obviously what I need to do and seem unable to do is...
Oh drat. There goes that silly brain of mine again.
Question. Analyze. Doubt.
No. No. No.
(obviously I need it)
I sat with the word for weeks.
Played with it.
and finally accepted it.
My word of the year.
I woke up today (or rather was woken up after five hours of sleep).
I had images in my head of a creative way to portray my word here.
Couldn't find the blocks I wanted to use.
Daughter begging me to help her with a project.
Ask her for patience.
Decided on a different approach.
Husband made me sit down and eat.
Daughter still pulling me toward her project.
Boys start waking up.
Cat needs shot. Still won't eat. Offer treats and love.
Set everything up to take picture for blog.
Camera battery is dead. Shit!
I'll post without picture.
Walk back upstairs.
Daughter now in tears because I will not drop what I'm doing to help.
I drop what I'm doing and start doing what she wants.
Shit! Stop myself and ask once again for patience.
"I'm almost done honey."
Here I am. Finishing what I set out to do.
It took me well over an hour.
There were many distractions.
I was being pulled.
The post is done.
It wasn't the outcome I intended.
But here I sit.
Off to help Darling Daughter with her project.
I bet she lets me focus!