See You Aug. 4th!

Yay!

A Vaycay!

Heading out to the rockies today.

Good ol' sunshine state!

Ironic as WI is giving us quite the Bon Voyage!

Flash flooding and tornadoes wreaked havoc on us last night!

The lightning was a show worth paying for.

Kind of hard to pack when your butt

keeps getting thrown in the basement

by the weather dude!

Oh how we needed the rain!

Took a few pics this morning.

Lots of rain.

Lots.

Love to all while I'm gone. 

See you in a few weeks!

yup. that's with the cover on. amount in 12 hours. yikes!

rain kerplunkin' in the bird bath :)

Words of Wisdom

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye. - "The Little Prince" by Antoine De Saint-Exupery

My Path

(the road to self-discovery - full of unknown - uber exciting!)

My 20 year class reunion is coming up fast. 

Gulp!

and

Yikes!!!

Yes, you heard me right. 20 years. 

Hardly seems possible.

I am doing and have done so much since graduation.

I have grown tremendously as a person,

married my soul mate,

nurture our relationship,

birthed four amazing children,

raise them to be the best "them" they can be, 

worked a wide range of odd jobs for income and pleasure,

morally supported oodles of friends and family members,

travelled when able,

worked childcare for others,

am currently on an intense path of self-discovery,

learning to allow, accept and nurture my creative side.

Most days I feel I achieve massive amounts.

I am worthy, my life is full and successful.

When it comes to this reunion, I am STUCK!!!!

It's titles, facts and figures people look for in order to measure up a life.

"What is your title? What do you do? Where do you work? How much do you make?"

...ummmm

I will say, "I am a nurse, a chef, a chauffeur,

a teacher, a spiritual guide, a life coach, a counselor,

a maid, nanny and candlestick maker.

I do a lot!

I work from home.

My income is zero but the benefits are phenomenal!!!!

I'm afraid people will hear...

"I'm an at-home-mom."

Possible translation?

"I haven't done anything since high school."

The best part about it being 20 years out?

I don't care what they think!!!!!!!

My new title for myself is  "self-expressionist".

What do I do?

I be me :)

Photo Friday

Such a busy week

such a busy day

no idle time to play. 

Lots on my mind

always lots to say

for now a simple photo

to make up my post for the day.

Amazing Art

I was looking for artistic inspiration this morning.
This is the first artist I came across. WOW! I'm talking AmAZING!!
Now to remember to use his abilities as inspiration and not
comparison (or I might as well give up immediately) ;)

Enjoy!

Techie Troubles

I spent weeks researching a point-and-shoot digital camera with video capability. I seriously searched the web, stores, consumer reports, and more!!! I figure if I'm looking to spend $300 or more I want to be happy. I'm now thinking that's too much to ask. I have an SLR that I adore. It gives me great shots. I am spoiled. Two problems. First off, it's not really mine. It's on "constant borrow" contract from my mother. Second, I have no video camera and my little ones don't seem to think that is good enough reason to stop growing!!! Argh!

I figured it would be best to get a point-and-shoot with vid so I could have it on me at all times (you know, small enough for the ol' purse dealy). Othewise I would be buying a camcorder and having to haul an extra bag everywhere for my SLR and camcorder. Great for some of the time but not all the time.

My forever search resulted in me purchasing a Nikon Coolpix S8000. I am NOT HAPPY.  My camera dude (guy who's been working with me at the store) says my eye is too good. I notice things most people wouldn't. That I just won't get the quality out of a point-and-shoot. That I have to shell out big bucks for a HD camcorder and haul my SLR around if I want superior quality.

Crap! I knew it. I don't have big bucks and I want convenience. Quality and convenience for $350 is too much to ask? To me that IS big bucks!

Does anyone out there have a point-and-shoot they're happy with? Should I just learn to suck-it-up and use this one for play? How do I settle with the fact it's not as good as I desire? Anyone know the number to a Sugar Daddy?

Anyways, here are some pics of my superb weekend!!! It was brilliant, amazing, stupendous, a total memory maker!!! The pictures are sub-par in my book. I'm going to try to remember the good times and stop focusing on the shitty shots!!!

 These are the best of the best. I literally threw a bunch in the virtual trash bin. I do understand that I could help them along in Photoshop, but I want to start with a brilliant photo, you know what I mean? Do I ask too much? Will I find a Point-&-Shoot to satisfy me? Should I return the camera and save further for a camcorder to go with my SLR? Or should I suck it up and enjoy this one as a toy and allow the kids to play too?

I know, I know. What a whiner, Huh?

Saturday's Silence

Nightmares

(I suffer from PTSD due to several events in my life. I have come a long way working through heavy issues. I am still affected. My biggest symptom now is recurrent nightmares. Wish there was something I could do. I try to keep a spiral by my bed. Strange what it captures. I woke from dreams the other night and wrote down the thoughts filling my head. I had forgotten what I had written. Today I picked up the spiral. It's always surreal to me. I don't necessarily remember the dreams days later as I have trained myself to forget and get over it. Obviously the feelings are deep. This is what I wrote.)

I have been diving deeper and deeper into myself.

Searching the depths of my soul.

Seeking truth, seeking self.

I find love.

Lots and lots of love.

It is promising.

Past this love,

deep down at the core of my being

I find fear and sadness.

They mingle and stir

and bubble to the surface.

Blip

Blip

Blip

Bubbles pop releasing their poison into my life.

Why?

 Why must I be afflicted by the thorns of childhood?

Thorns of past.

How do I heal?

How do I live?

(It's rather interesting. I don't remember the dream. I had forgotten what I had written. Yet for several days after I was in a depressive stupor. A feeling of anguish, darkness, failure, misery was riding through my days with me. This is what my dreams do to me even when I push them aside and excuse them. Now I am facing the feelings that lingered. I will excuse them as well. Today is a new day. A beautiful day. A bright and promising day. I will access the fire in my belly and move on with energy, expression, fascination at life. Today will be a day of happiness and love.)

fire courtesy of our backyard pit :)

Inspiration

I have a self-discovery partner.

Is that cheating? To have a partner at "self" discovery?

Maybe I should phrase it like this...

A good friend and I are keeping each other inspired and motivated

while simultaneously working on our own self-discovery.

(More wordy and precise, but also more stuffy, no?) 

At any rate, "J" and I are making art dates. Choosing local artistic venues and setting the date. Keeping each other inspired through e-mail. Sharing inspirational links, motivational words.

A few weeks ago, "J" sent me a package in the mail. The package included a card made by a participant of The Very Special Arts Center (Madison, WI) which works with disabled individuals on self-growth through art. Inside the card was a note explaining how "J" had been going through some of her creative books in order to "organize her mind and space" to focus on her goals. In the process, she had found several books she thought fit my path better than hers. 

What a wonderful and lovely surprise it was to receive her package of inspiration!

Yesterday I sent a package in return. I had fallen in love with Mind's Eye Journals we had come across at an art fair we attended a few weeks ago. I mean IN LOVE!!!! They were gorgeous! They were also not in my budget. Being an at-home-mom of four does not often allow for such extravagance. I vowed that some day I would own one. For now, I will settle. 

I went into the dungeon (my basement studio) and dug around a bit. I came up with some raw materials and an idea. I watched YouTube, watched a library video and read a few books on book binding. Then I went to work. I created a journal for "J" and a journal for myself. They are not professional, they are not perfect. They are simply a loving place for each of us to start our journey of self-expression. Words, painting, collage, who knows what the finished journals will hold. 

Each journal is covered with a quote specific to its owner. May they bring us creativity, freedom and peace.

Wordless Wednesday

Happy 4th, Birthday and so much more!

What a whirlwind weekend!

Cleaning

company

Darling Daughter's Birthday

extra kids overnight

parade

cookout

catching fireflies

Fourth of July Fireworks

and

Family!

Whew! I'm beat.

Spent the weekend trying out my new camera. Not so happy with the results. All auto settings which I had hoped would do better for me. I can use manual, but in a pinch, you want to know auto is there for you. I was looking for a small digital with good HD video capability I can keep in my purse. My SLR is not a grab&go ya know? The one used in the pics above is a Nikon  Coolpix S8000 with a not so little price tag of $300. I have two weeks to return &/or exchange. Will continue to play with it for a few days. Anyone have any suggestions? Do you have one and love it? Hate it? What small digital do you have (if any)?

How R U ?

Driving down a highway I have never traveled before I was completely taken by the view of this brilliant old sign on a little old building. I believe the property was once a gas station
or fix-it shop of sorts. Now it sits alone on the outskirts of town
acting as a storage shed of sorts. Four letters stand proudly at the top.

These two made me think of you! How R U ?
Have you traveled off the beaten path lately?
Changed things up in life? Gone on any adventures?
Captured any treasure? Do tell!