Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Out of Whack

See this?
Might be hard to see.
That, my dears, is rain.
Desperately needed rain.

I think that much needed rain
is the reason behind my much hated pain.

Fucking Fibro.
Sorry. Sometimes it slips.

Went to the dentist yesterday.
Little boy (around 4 or 5) was across from us.
He was scared. He cried.
His parents sat in front of him taking turns berating.
"Stop it! We told you not to cry!"
"No crying allowed!"
"Don't be such a baby."
"Knock it off. Shut up! Stop crying."

I wanted to go over and hold his hand.

My much bigger boy (10) saw the drill coming.
Tears started welling.
I held his hand and empowered him.
"It's okay honey. Squeeze my hand if you have to.
If you feel any pain at all, you raise your hand.
You let us know. You'll be okay.
The doctor is going to take good care of you and I'm here."

The tears subsided and he quietly and quickly 
had his tooth filled.

I don't think the other boy's parents realized what they were doing.
I'm still sad for that little boy.

Later in the day, we were getting ready to go fishing.
We were running late.
There was lots to pack and prepare. I asked everyone for help.
The younger kids and I worked hard.
Teenager holed up in his cave.
Ditched me. Didn't help.
Took forever to get off his butt and out the door.

I tried to gently tell him how I needed everyone's help.
How he's old enough to take initiative.
How he's biggest, strongest, most capable.
He argued.
My fibro flare pain got the best of me.
I yelled.
"Don't you get it? Seriously? You need to help!
You should not abandon everyone else whose working.
You promised to help today! To spend time with me!
You need to step up and be responsible! 
You're too old for this!!!"

I didn't know what I was doing.
Frustration was mounting and my physical pain
shortened my fuse. I needed his help and he wasn't there.
I handled it wrong.  He's still a kid.
Albeit a big one, but an impressionable
learning kid none-the-less.

I appologized.
Explained myself.
Asked that next time he help when I ask.
Said that next time I will work hard at keeping my cool.

We went fishing.

We saw beauty.

We caught fish.

We made happy, good memories.

Sometimes our actions are not what we intend.
Everyone makes mistakes.
If we are aware, we can learn from our actions.
We can use that knowledge to act differently next time.
We can grow and share our knowledge.
We can apologize and love.

I can't help but wonder about that little boy at the dentist.
Were his parents aware?
Did they learn anything?
Did they appologize?
Did he get a hug when all was said and done?

My message to all of you today?

Live, Learn, Love.



beth said...

ohhhh.....been there done, done that. first, since i'm a dental assistant, i know how that all goes down and usually i wanted to kill the parents and often asked them to go back out to the waiting room and then the child was fine.

and the big kid, the teenager not helping. oh lord, don't even get me going on that. now granted, yesterday was different and he really helped me...but in previous times before that, oh he got an earful alright while my temper flew all over the place.

i hope you're feeling better !

John said...

The Dentist............Sounds to me as if the parents put their fear on the child. Good for you. Looks as if you had a great time fishing too.

It is always hard for parents when the children get older and start to make their own decisions......seemingly ignoring their parents in the process

Hope you feel better

Elena said...

Great post! Funny how I can relate quite well to how you were feeling with your son. Then later MUCH LATER I feel guilty.

Jaime said...

Oh this is a great post. Wonderful words of wisdom and love.
And that fish photo!!!!! lol!
Made me laugh out loud.

You've got great kids. :)

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