Sunday, August 22, 2010

mess of emotion

My journal today looks a mess.
There is significance in this.
I look at my journal and self-judge. 
I am no artist. I wish I was.
Bad, negative feelings.
Obviously stemming from deep within.
Perhaps partially due to a life of doubt.
Stemming from two addict parents.
I sit here trying to figure out how many years of my life
both parents were sober at the same time.
Guess how many I came up with?
Not too many I'm afraid.
I have dealt with a lot of crisis
involving mom
involving dad
current crisis included.
It's a mixed up, messed up story
that would take a book to write.
The feelings (as I tried to portray on the right)
seem to blend and bleed and dump into a big black hole.
Luckily for me
I have learned how to separate (for the most part)
that aspect of my life from the rest.
I am extremely thankful for that!


Karen Wallace said...

How wonderful that you are honoring the part of you that is dealing with the crisis, and pain and expressing it. Hugs. Warmly, Karen

Shannon said...

what a mindful post. thank you for sharing your authentic self with us. i'm so happy to see you use a journal to get the "stuff" out. i find my journal to be so helpful in so many moments in my life. xoxo

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