Friday, September 2, 2011

Am I A Loser???

I need your help! 
 I fear I may be a loser!

Twice Over!!! 

Indulge me, if you will, in two debates.

Debate #1
The age old "over or under" debate.
Toilet paper.
Over (front)?

Or under (back)?

Debate #2

Okay to read from back to front?
Or ONLY acceptable front to back?

If you reply, you MUST answer honestly!
No sparing my feelings.
I'm a big girl.
I wear big girl panties.
I can take it.
sniff ~ sniff ~
No really.

I need to know.
Do I win the debate?
Or am I a loser?

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

In my circle of friends, I have failed miserably.
Here's my take.
T.P. should be put on the roll so the tail drapes down the BACK!!!
I guess that would be "under"
I don't want the tail flapping over the top at me.
Mocking me.
Taunting me.
"Here I am!!! Hanging over!!! Look at me looking sloppy!!!"
I want it neatly placed under (to the back)
where it will lie silently against the wall
neatly in line with the vertical lines of the cabinets and walls.
Anal? A bit. Correct? I believe so.

My husband and (as I have recently found out)
a couple of close friends find my way completely unacceptable.
They are of the "over" crowd.
Swearing it only makes sense that the extra paper tail be resting atop the roll.
Can this be???

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

As for the magazines. 
I get them. I love them. I devour them.
I read them back to front.
Not religiously, but 90% of the time.
Now I'm not a total freak.
Books, letters, mail, everything aside from magazines
gets read the proper way from top to bottom, left to right.
There's just something about magazines.
I pick them up and they demand I start from the back!
Magazines scream,
"scan me"
"leaf through"
"play with me"
I read them bits and chunks.
Willy nilly.
Starting in the back, flapping toward the front.
Whatever grabs me I read.
Next time it is picked up, I do the same.
Like a lottery of entertainment.

my world was shattered.
A friend told me that reading a magazine from back to front
was a freaky thing to do.

"NO ONE reads from back to front"
She declared.

"I beg to differ! I do! And I'm someone!"

"Well that's just plain strange."

"What about all the people leafing through at the doc office? Do you think they pick them up and read front to back? Or do they pick something willy nilly? Perhaps EVEN starting at the back?"

"No One starts at the back. It's just wrong."

She even pulled in another friend. We were at a party when this ugly debate started. The friend? Agreed with her. Then again, it was HER friend. They actually started laughing at me and saying how ridiculous it was. They were asking around and guess what???? I was the ONLY one to read back to front! Of course I have no clue if everyone was being honest with me. After all, it was my friend throwing the party. Perhaps they all agreed with her as not to risk being kicked to the curb on the night of the party!?!?

Once again, my circle of friends claimed
I was the loser.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

dear bloggy friends....
I reach out to you.

Two debates
in need of two answers.

over (front) or under (back)

acceptable to read from back to front?
yes or no

I will be anxiously lurching around patiently waiting for the results to see if I have won the debate (yes!!! winner!!!)
if, in fact, I am a loser.


Thanks for playing along!
Have a happy, safe, brilliant weekend!


Salem Witch Child said...

Perhaps I'm the real loser! Because neither. TP not on a roller. Newspapers, start in the middle. ;)

Robin said...

Well, I may be crazy too but my toilet paper HAS to comeover the top and hang down in front!! And I often flip through magazines and catalogues from back to front!! It really bugs my son to see me do it!!

Jennifer Richardson said...

you're definitely not a loser's clever and creative
to read from back to front,
like saving the cherry on the sundae
for the very last bite.
And toilet paper, well, as long
as someone in my house puts another roll out when the old one is finished, I'm thrilled. It can be hung, draped, tossed, leaned, looped or braided as long as it's there when I need it:) And I'm a happy camper.
Hope your weekend is long and sweet,

beth said...

for me, the TP has to go on the roll with the paper falling down the back. always.

the hubby. down the front when he changes the roll. weirdo.
and i have been known, while peeing, to change the roll back to the proper position if need be.

a new magazine i tend to read front to back, but if i pick up a magazine at a doctor's office, i often read it from the middle for some reason. are not a loser !

Glenn Stenson said...

Asians read all their stuff back to front. That's more than half the world's population.

Since we'll probably never share the same water closet, you can tp your whole yard any way you like for all I care.

Elena said...

TP hangs over the front for me. And magazines, it's whatever I open up to but very rarely do I start at the front. And each time I open it it's to another random section somewhere inside but not the front. But if I was at the party with you I would swear I started at the back. ;)

juliehaymakerthompson said...

I hate changing TP so HMMM I am lucky if i get it on the roll any old way !! But back to front almost 90 %

Jan said...

Personally I always put the tp over but you have my permission to put it on which ever way pleases you and no one can deny you!
Magazines, in their floppy format, are easier to pick up and start looking from back to front because that is just the natural way to do it for a right handed person. I do it. Then I just jump around in one until I find something to read. When I am nearly finished, then I start at the front and work my way back until I am sure I have read everything I want to. So you have my permission to read your magazines in any way you desire, heheh. Permission granted!

Candace said...

I prefer over, too, because it seems to roll off easier that way than when it's underneath. At work if someone does it the "wrong" way, I fix it!!!!

I don't have very strong feelings about magazine reading :) I think if reading seriously I would go front to back. If I'm just killing time, I would go either way.

John said...

Well nacherluver, if you need to use toilet paper are you going to reject it if it is hanging the wrong way or will you just be glad it is there? And of course if there is no toilet paper there is always the magazines.............

Definately a winner. you´ve made me laugh!

lori vliegen said...

debate #1.....yes, definitely "under". not only is it easier to grab the next sheet, my daughters cats prefer it that way too.....because it's easier for them to grab and pull all over the house.

debate #2.....absolutely back to front. all the good stuff is in the back!

thanks for the're a winner!!! xoxo

Jaime said...

haha.... I've always wondered what the majority thinks on the tp thing too! I used to just put it on randomly, and didn't think much of it, but then the lazy part of me realized that if it lies over, it is much easier to access.
(John's comment made me laugh!)

I think it is utterly charming and endearing that you read magazines from back to front. It speaks to your creative nature. And I am inspired to try it.

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