Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Reaching Out - Holding On

So much violence. So many shootings.
They only seem to be getting worse.

The events that unfolded in Newtown, CT last friday are unfathomable. So many innocent lives lost. I have not written about it or talked about it much as I feel completely inadequate to do so.
Where are the words to heal the hurt?
Where are the words to soothe the suffering?
Where are the words to explain the unexplainable?

I tried to avoid much of the news. I didn't want to feed into the sensationalism. I didn't want my kids to fear. I didn't want to cry anymore. I didn't want to imagine the pain of those who lost loved ones. I didn't want it to be true.

I have been trying to figure out what I can do to help. I come up with nothing. I feel helpless.

I conjure up feelings of love to send out to the families. Love. It has to be the answer.

There is so much anger and fear and violence in the world.
We have to stop hating and hurting.
We must start healing.
How do we heal?

I read about an eleven year old that brings a gun to school to protect himself and his classmates. I think, "Why is this happening?"
I read about a Texas school allowing teachers to bring guns to school to protect their students. I think, "Why is this happening?"

I am a considerable geographic distance away from Sandy Hook elementary, yet it is now in my own back yard.
The sickness seems to be spreading.

A grade school not even 40 miles away finds live ammo on the playground. A teen gets arrested for spouting about copycatting.
Now it is my child's school.
There have been rumors of a threat against the safety of the students and staff at my child's high school. The threat is set for 12-21-12. The police have been investigating.I received an automated call from the principal saying the students are safe as they feel the threats are unsubstantiated. The rumors continue and build. I do not feel it is safe. How can I? 

I again ask myself, "Why?"

I have no answers.

Anger, fear, frustration, desperation.
A lot of ugly feelings are surfacing for a lot of people.
Including me.
I ask that everyone try, try, try to feel love.
Don't feed the negative energy with more negative.

I am working on centering and focusing and loving.
Feeling love for my family.
Love for this life.
Love for the world.

Sirens flew by my house as I typed that last line.
The seventh time in 12 hours.
Sirens. Warnings.
Of what?
I don't know.
I'm feeling so helpless.

All I know to do is reach.
Keep reaching.
Reaching out and holding on to what is good.

If only by a single thread.
We must hold on to love.
Build on the good with good.
Reach. Hold. Love.

My heart and prayers go out to everyone.

I send you love.


beth said...

we must hold on to, isn't that the truth !

Em said...

I am sending you love back. Lots and lots of love.

Hang in there.

John said...

So well written and filled with hope and love, for where there is one light another will be sure to follow.

Jennifer Richardson said...

just read this heartpour
and feel it to my bones.
holding on to love
and loving the way you hold
life dear:)

tangled sky studio said...

so scary and so real. but love and hope are the best we can do as far as i can tell.


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