Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Dear Grandma,


My grandma helped me today.
I was in a really bad way.
I was stuck in an emotional black hole.
The vacuum pressure was sucking me deeper.

I stopped and thought about my grandma.
About how much I missed her.
How much I wished she were still here to give me advice.
Her advice was alway so practical and smart and firm.
Her guidance dished out so matter of fact with a side of love.

I pictured myself going to her Catholic Church (which has also left this earth).
I imagined myself sliding into a pew and kneeling in prayer.
I imagined her rosary and how it would feel in my hands.
I imagined finding her spirit there.
I cried. She heard me.
The answer was loud and clear.

Peace came over me.
Just
like
that.

Where did the message come from?
It was so clear. So real. So matter of fact.
So Grandma.

I heard my Grandma speak to me.
Not with my ears. With my heart.
She is still with me, a part of me, always will be.
I draw from her faith. The strength she left behind.
Instilled in me through years of love, guidance and care.
I keep her alive through my love for her.
Love that is undying.


Dear Grandma,
Thank you for always being there for me. 
I love you.

Sunset. Highway26. Year 2008. 

4 comments:

John said...

Thank you Grandma, love is the greatest bond, spanning all dimensions.

Jennifer Richardson said...

crying (sniff)
i know what this feel like,
have had that experience
with my grandpa
who made me know
what it felt like
to be seen.
thank you for sharing
the love
from the other side:)
-Jennifer

Eydie said...

Your words deeply resonated with me.

I also had a grandmother who cupped my soul in the palms of her hands and loved me unconditionally. I keep her memories alive by cooking her recipes, using her favorite cookie dishes, using her wooden linen chest (she received as a wedding gift) as my alter, and by gently hearing her whispers when I need to know she is near.

Your grandmother will always live in your heart.
xoxo

april said...

That's just beautiful. tears here too. I have that feeling in my heart for my mom. She loved to bake too, Eydie, and I have her original recipes, baking pans and cookie cooling racks out every week.

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