Thursday, October 18, 2012

A Cranial Purge

I recently discovered Elizabeth Berg. I am transported every time I open the pages of her books. How is it possible I haven't discovered her sooner?  I just finished "The Year of Pleasures". It is a touching book about love, loss, friendship and self-discovery.

I took pause at a passage about death.

"I thought of the priest who'd told me that many religions hold that it is easier to be closely connected to people we love after death than before."

It really had me thinking.

Have you ever lost someone you deeply love? When you think about them now, do you remember all the good times? The love you felt? Their funny ways, gentle words, generosity? Are there memories of less than pleasant times? Do you have to dig for them or are they just below the surface? When they arrive, do you brush past the unpleasant, excusing it for being in the way, and run straight to the good, spending your reminiscence rolling in love, elation and happiness? I know I do.

I think of my grandmother often. She is no longer 1000 miles away. A phone is no longer necessary to reach her. Now I simply open my heart and ask for guidance, look to the memories and pull out her wisdom.

Perhaps that is not always the case. When we truly love someone who has been hurtful and hard, the memories are not all butterfly wings whispering in our ears. Perhaps there is pain in remembering. Perhaps there are questions left unanswered that beg from the corner to be released.

Even then, is it not easier to see the possibilities of why they were the way they were? Is it not easier to talk to them in spirit than it was in the flesh, whether seeking answers, releasing anger, or working toward forgiveness?

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this post. It is most definitely a cranial purge. A pondering dumped onto the page as it works its way around the folds of my brain.

I am going to keep the quote nearby for a bit. To keep me thinking. To remind me to hold my loved ones close to my heart here in the flesh, creating connections strong enough to be felt beyond any space time continuum.


John said...

So very true Nacherluver, I think sometimes we find it easier to talk to those who we know love us, whether they are in this life or next, we know they will not judge us. Love is the great connection and transcends all dimensions.

beth said...

i love elizabeth berg and have read all of her books. they are actually in my "save box" of books with all the other ones i can't part with.

some books i read and pass on and without another thought, but some, like hers, i cherish and keep and re-read and use as references when needed.

i'm so glad you found her.
ps...."talk before sleep" is amazing

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