Thursday, March 14, 2013

Look Up

I rarely put myself first and am realizing how unhealthy that can be. My conditioning taught me to be a people pleasing caretaker. I have always put everyone else first and it has hurt me severely. It's not that I wanted to be last, I just couldn't figure out how to put myself first without hurting someone else. Someone wins, someone loses. Me? Or them? Conditioning taught me to self-sacrifice.

What a terrible dilemma! Either I put myself first and feel selfish for hurting others, or I put everyone else first and I suffer. That is a no win situation. 

I'm learning. 

Being able to put yourself first is important in life. You are the most important person in your life. Without you, you have no life. Putting yourself first can be empowering and liberating. It is also how you get ahead. Putting yourself first is good, unless done at the cost of others. Then you are acting out of ego. You are saying "I am better than, more important than." You are creating hurt.

If done correctly, everyone benefits.
what is the correct way?

I think I may have figured it out!

Each one of us must put ourselves first in order to thrive and survive.

Putting yourself first means you must cast off others. Use them as stepping stones. Use them to build a wall so you can find your rightful place at the top. Right?


Try looking at it as a race. Place yoursef first. 
grab the hands of those around you. Walk shoulder to shoulder, together, in the lead. If you get to a point where you feel the energy or need to surge ahead? Don't drop hands, pull them along! Set an example. Lead the way. Share the empowered feeling of being first. It will pay off if you stumble or tire. By that time, the bond between hands will be strong and it will be you who will be carried along until you have regained strength.

We all must work together in order to win the race.
The Human Race.

Look up. What do you see? Vastness. Eternity.
Does it make you feel small?
I'm sure it does if you stand alone.

Stand together.
Walk together.
Run if you have to.
Just don't let go.
If you feel yourself slipping?
I got you babe.

I am taking this moment in time to recognize that I have never put myself first. I am also realizing that I need to start. In doing so, I vow to hang on to the hands of all those I love, leaving no one behind and adding the hands that reach out to me. In putting myself first I will grow in self-esteem, in empowerment and in self. I will set an example and pass the feeling on through all the hands I hold.


Uta said...

I'm sitting in bed with my computer on my lap and crying. This is something you had to discover for yourself. Its not a lesson that can be taught to you by somebody else. You have to come to the realization on your own and YOU'VE DONE IT!!! A huge lesson learned. I am again extremely proud of you. Love you ...

Jan said...

Just goes to show that we can continue to learn new things throughout our lives. This is a big learning step for you and it makes me proud to be your friend. I learn from you all the time and will hang on.

Elena said...

First LOVE that pic! Great summation of our talk :) . Although I personally believe there are people in life that are meant to be temporary travelers we encounter on our journey. Some are plain disasters to be avoided although sometimes provide the best lessons. And yes, some hold on tight. Ummm...can you let go of the death grip now? teehee JUST KIDDING You already know how important you are to me...

Kim Mailhot said...

I struggle with this dilemma as well. One thought I had recently kind of helped. I think that if I put myself first, stand up for myself, do what Ineed to be doing to care for my own well being. I give the other people in my life the example and also allow them to do the same. If we are all standing up for ourselves, taking care of our selves, and as you said, walking shoulder to shoulder as best we can, then when things get shaky, we have a lot more strength to off one another. And things just may be a little less shaky if we are alol standing on our one two feet most of the time...
I do know that I deserve all the love and care and goodness in this world just as much as anyone else in the world does. Now I am trying to act like I know it !
Take sweet time you !
Happy Friday !

John said...

Wow, Nacherluver. I like this a lot, one of your best.

Laura said...

Totally get, great read~

Jaime said...

It's just like what they say when you get on an airplane, right? Put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST... you are better able to support others when you are still breathing. Better yet, THRIVING.

Thrive on, my friend.

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