Look Up

I rarely put myself first and am realizing how unhealthy that can be. My conditioning taught me to be a people pleasing caretaker. I have always put everyone else first and it has hurt me severely. It's not that I wanted to be last, I just couldn't figure out how to put myself first without hurting someone else. Someone wins, someone loses. Me? Or them? Conditioning taught me to self-sacrifice.

What a terrible dilemma! Either I put myself first and feel selfish for hurting others, or I put everyone else first and I suffer. That is a no win situation. 

I'm learning. 

Being able to put yourself first is important in life. You are the most important person in your life. Without you, you have no life. Putting yourself first can be empowering and liberating. It is also how you get ahead. Putting yourself first is good, unless done at the cost of others. Then you are acting out of ego. You are saying "I am better than, more important than." You are creating hurt.

If done correctly, everyone benefits.

So...

what is the correct way?

I think I may have figured it out!

Each one of us must put ourselves first in order to thrive and survive.

Putting yourself first means you must cast off others. Use them as stepping stones. Use them to build a wall so you can find your rightful place at the top. Right?

Wrong.

Try looking at it as a race. Place yoursef first. 

Then...

grab the hands of those around you. Walk shoulder to shoulder, together, in the lead. If you get to a point where you feel the energy or need to surge ahead? Don't drop hands, pull them along! Set an example. Lead the way. Share the empowered feeling of being first. It will pay off if you stumble or tire. By that time, the bond between hands will be strong and it will be you who will be carried along until you have regained strength.

We all must work together in order to win the race.

The Human Race.

Look up. What do you see? Vastness. Eternity.

Does it make you feel small?

I'm sure it does if you stand alone.

Stand together.

Walk together.

Run if you have to.

Just don't let go.

If you feel yourself slipping?

I got you babe.

I am taking this moment in time to recognize that I have never put myself first. I am also realizing that I need to start. In doing so, I vow to hang on to the hands of all those I love, leaving no one behind and adding the hands that reach out to me. In putting myself first I will grow in self-esteem, in empowerment and in self. I will set an example and pass the feeling on through all the hands I hold.

Creativity Kicking In

My last post was a teaser to an idea I conjured up recently. My mind has been bubbling over with ideas lately. A few weeks ago my husband gifted me an iPad for our anniversary (I love you honey!). Something sparked inside my brain on a visit to our library a few days later. There is an adorable coffee shop in the basement that also sells used books. I spotted a book on a shelf that was just the right size and only $2 (what a steal).

 

I purchased the book and cut the cover off. Gulp! Yes. I destroyed a perfectly good (but old) book. Being a bibliophile, I used to have major issues with the thought of destroying books for any reason. I still have great respect for books and teach my children to respect books. That being said, I also found out how many old books end up in landfills every year. The landfill! 

Decorative paper lines the inside walls.

Taking old books and repurposing into useful items, reclaiming pages, spines etc... for the sake of art, or just plain recycling them makes so much more sense.

I got over my fear of destroying the book as my intentions were to make it useful in a different way. I turned it into a carry case for my iPad! The signatures are still intact and being enjoyed by my family as a coverless book. When we are done using the pages for historical lessons and viewing pleasure (gorgeous pictures), we will use them to create art. All remaining material will be recycled.

Win, win, win!

The sides of the carry case are made from strips of jeans material from an old torn pair of my son's jeans. The inside is lined with decorative paper covered pizza box panels. The carry handles came from a gift bag received years ago.

iPad carry case.

It was a challenge to create but I am absolutely thrilled with how it turned out.

Broken

Torn and broken?

or

Awaiting reclamation?

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Day 5

NaNoWriMo Day 5 - What a fabulous and wonderful weekend! I was invited to spend an evening at a bed and breakfast in the western hills of Wisconsin with a couple of other ladies. I enjoyed beautiful scenery, lack of cell service (which meant no interruptions), wonderful conversation, sisterly love and great food. It was relaxing and recharging beyond belief. Upon arrival home I grabbed the family and headed off to visit a family friend who invited us over for dinner and a movie. It was a second late night of friends and fun. Yesterday was all about food and football. I managed to eek in writing all weekend but still fell behind my daily goal. This morning I logged onto my regional NaNoWriMo group on FB and found a gentleman looking for a word war! We set the clock for one hour and we were off! I won the word war and nearly caught up with my word count. I am feeling so happy today!

My past experiences with NaNoWriMo left me feeling down in the dumps as I quit on myself. This year, all the stars have aligned. I'm in a good place of personal growth for the challenge, my believing mirrors and cheerleaders are out in full swing, serendipity and inspiration are blowing under my wings and I am soaring!

Today I chose a giggle quote.  :)

"I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork."  ~ Peter De Vries

Thank you to all who are cheering me on and those joining me on this writing journey. I grabbed this image off an old sign hanging on a fence at the B&B this weekend. I couldn't help but think of  all of you. You are my net of support there to catch me if I fall. Thank you!

NaNoWriMo 2012 - Day 1

NaNoWriMo Day 1 - Fell asleep on the couch last night which ended up being convenient as the first thought that popped into my brain this morning was, "Shit! Day One!"

I set up shop in the living room hoping for inspiration from my awesome book coffee table. I'm planning on writing on my son's discarded laptop as it's pretty bare bones basic and shouldn't allow for too many distractions. It also allows me to become a mobile writer! Look out local libraries! Here I come!

Plenty of Joe and my Dove Dark and I was set! I started writing when... oh yeah. Have to get the kids off to school. Two hours later...

I was off!

It is shortly after noon and I have reached my first day's goal! Boo Yah! Baby!

First day excitement, plenty of coffee, the novel has been churning in my brain for a month, first day dump was no problem. Let's hope it keeps up!

I'm off to shower and vote!

xxx-Smooches!-xxx 

"There's an old folk saying that goes: whenever you delete a sentence from your NaNoWriMo novel, a NaNoWriMo angel loses its wings and plummets screaming to the ground. Where it will likely require medical attention."  ~ Chris Baty

Laptop - check                coffee - check               book table inspiration - check 

animal blankie & prowler outfit and I'm good to go

I always love me some Dove!

Friday

I'm paying bills this morning.

How uninspiring!

I decided to head over to my photo files

to find something to play with.

Look what I found!

Yum!

Now I'm hungry.

Have a delicious weekend!

Step Fearlessly

(To break the captivating spell of a melancholy mood, sometimes all one needs to do is play!)

Sadness presses hard against my back.

A dark cloud.

A familiar shroud.

Life’s big questions going unanswered.

I stop, stare, see nothing but darkness ahead

peering from the crevices of the unknown.

Nearby shadows mock my mood

whispering and beckoning me forward to more of the same.

As I move ahead, pulled to darkness, a reflection on the wall stops me in my tracks.

The source of light?

Angels wings.

They sing their choral splendor of faith, their voices familiar and safe.

A feeling of grace washes over me.

The cloak becomes weightless, floating away, carried by the beauty of the natural world.

No longer seeing doom in the darkness,

I move forward planting firm foot to ground and step willingly into my life.

Author Unknown

I found the following story on the internet this morning but was unable to find the author. To the person who wrote this, thank you.

“Why are you crying?”, a young boy asked his Mom.

“Because I’m a woman,” she told him. “I don’t understand,” he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will, but that’s O.K.”… Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?”. “All women cry for no reason,” was all his Dad could say… The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked “God, why do women cry so easily?”

GOD answered…

When I made woman, I decided she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet, made her arms gentle enough to give comfort…I gave her the inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times will come even from her own children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going and take care of her family and friends, even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without complaining…I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly…

She has the very special power to make a child’s boo-boo feel better and to quell a teenager’s anxieties and fears…I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart…I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

For all of this hard work, I also gave her a tear to shed. It is hers to use whenever needed and it is her only weakness.

When you see her cry, tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though she may still cry, you will have made her 

heart feel good.

© Lynn Retzlaff

Weekend Inspiration

Need some motivation for your life?

Some inspiration?

Love life. Live happy.

Negative to Positive

I am mega frustrated today.

Like MEGA!

Like speechlessly so.

Me. Speechless.

 I know, right?

(yup. I'm down with the teen lingo)

My anger today is aimed at creativity killers. Art Assassins, if you will.  Instead of dumping my anger (which is all I seem to have to offer at the moment), I will share some art inspiration. I will turn the negative into a positive. Go ARt!!!!

1.

Did you know Jim Carrey (the comedian/actor) is an artist?

Totally! Check the LINK.

2.

This looks like a BlaST!!!!!

3.

A blog chok full of art from various artists

using various art forms and mediums.

Learn, explore, get inspired.

LetsLoveArt

4.

Found this awesome table at Pottery Barn. Been looking for something like this for the kid's art table (to replace the card table currently residing in my back living room). As the Wicked Witch of the west would say, some day "I'll get you my pretty!!!"