Hello New Year!

It's going to be a good year.

There. I said it.

The intention is out there.

The seed of belief has been planted.

I will nurture it and water it and watch it grow.

Bloom and grow baby!

Yup. It's going to be an excellent year.

2012 - A Year With Faith

This past year has been a doozy. I have heard the same sentiment from many and witnessed the same from many. A year of challenges, changes, losses, pains. Along with those pains came growth, but at a cost. Perhaps 2012 will be known as the year of growing pains. 

My arms are open and ready to embrace 2013. They are open but not wide. A guarded embrace will take place as the clock strikes twelve. 

As I grew more accustomed to the blogging world over the last few years or so, I embraced the tradition of choosing a word of the year versus making New Year's resolutions. Resolutions never seemed to make it past the idea stage so I had no problem giving up the useless tradition to forge ahead with another. 


2011 - Focus
       I chose the word focus because it was something I needed to work on, something I was greatly lacking. I chose the word and failed it miserably. I had no plan, no idea how to work with a "word of the year" and ironically, no focus! By the end of 2011 I had to look back at the previous year's blog post to see what my word for the year actually was. I had forgotten. Obviously a complete lack of focus. I found the matter to be quite amusing with no sweat off my back.

2012 - Faith
       There was a huge difference with my word for 2012. Difference number one. The word chose me. I did not choose a word, rather I allowed words to play around in my mind until one took hold. I asked the universe to provide my word and it chose Faith. I had been warned that when a word chooses you (versus you choosing a word), you better hang on. The word means business! Can I just say that I believe that was the understatement of the year?
       This past year was one of the hardest of my life. Trust me. I have had some hard, ugly, difficult times. This past year saw my marriage challenged, my world shaken, loved ones lost, and a health issue that had me scared for my life. I am still working on how to shake fear as it is the state I have lived in my entire life, though most say they wouldn't know it (my mask hides me well). I have cried more tears in this past year than I thought possible to produce in a lifetime.
       Faith started out as something I thought one had, only to discover it is something one does, practices, gains. Faith no longer feels like a noun. I believe it to be more of a verb. People say "Have faith". I always thought my grandmother 'had faith'. Faith is something you work to understand, work to gain and then work to keep. Perhaps once you have done all the work you can 'have' it, but there are still times it is threatened and you must work to keep it. It is shaken and you must stabilize. It is questioned and you must defend.
       I walked into my year feeling strong and cocky. "Hmm... cute little word. Pretty sure I know what it means. Let's question it. Digest it. Play with it."
       Faith said, "Oh no you don't! I chose you! This is my year. I get the lead. I take control. You are simply along for the ride."
       Or so it felt.

       I was talking to my husband about a word for this year. He said, "Don't do it." He was as scared for me as I was. He actually said he thought choosing a word to focus on was similar to worshiping a false God. Interesting. Also not real settling. I thought about what he said and thought it sounded a bit like hooey, but at the same time, I was scared. Scared of what the new year would bring, scared to ask for a word, but it had already happened and I knew it. A word had settled in a few weeks prior. I felt it nudging and whispering and trying to attach itself to me. It felt like a good word, a good fit, yet I could not shake the fear it might possibly carry with it a hidden agenda of hard times and painful lessons.
       The word whispered "trust me, you need me" and that's when it hit me.

       When a word chooses you for a year, it is not the word that brings challenges. Life brings challenges. The word allows for transformation. It allows for growth to occur and wisdom to be gained. When walking with a word, we have something to work with, something to lean on, something to guide us. It shows we are open and willing to learn and transform. It is a way for the Universe to guide us. 
       Faith carried me through this past year. At first I questioned it. When I started to think I knew what it was, it made sure to let me know I had a lot to learn. It challenged me and left me until I realized that I was the one who left. When I questioned it, it gave me something to focus on, to learn from. It allowed me to look at things differently. It held my hand through the difficulty and celebrated the good.
       It has been an extremely hard year. I am thankful I had faith by my side. I plan on continuing to grow with/in faith as I know I have a long way to go. Faith is not a word for a year, it is a word for life.
      
2013 -
       This year, my year is my year. I claim it for myself. The word that has nudged me will be at my side. I am keeping it to myself (at least for now), holding it gently and close to my heart. Once again, it picked me. In all honesty, having a word choose me when I wasn't sure whether I wanted a word this year, makes me a bit leery. It is a good word. One of the best. I choose to step into the new year with positive intention and  gratitude. May the new year choose to greet me with the same. May it choose the same for you.

A few months ago I was blessed with a weekend get-a-way with a few other ladies. One is a forever friend, the other I had never met. I almost chickened out. I ended up staying one night instead of two. It was just right. We stayed up late talking deep and long, sharing stories in front of a wood burning stove. The room pictured below is the one I stayed in at the bed and breakfast. So much introspect and healing and dealing of past has gone on for me this year. It was interesting to me that the room I received was representative of the room I had as a small child. It was rather symbolic of the work I've been doing to make peace with my past.

2012

Happy New Year!!!!!

Are you a resolution person?

Do you pick a word for the year?

Do you say, "Not for me." and start your new year

where you left off the old one?

I used to make New Year Resolutions.

They lasted a week (tops).

Perhaps I aimed too high.

Perhaps I didn't take them seriously enough.

Perhaps I made them for all the wrong reason.

A few years ago I discovered the "word of the year" in blogland.

A word for the year.

A chosen word to work with for the year.

To represent the year.

To learn from and grow with over the year.

Two years ago I chose 'positivity'.

Perhaps it chose me.

It was a hard year but with my chosen word,

I was able to find and focus on the positive.

Positivity was a good choice but it did not feel deep or close to me.

Last year I chose the word 'focus' for the simple fact that I lacked any and all.

I figured I would choose it as I needed it desperately.

What did I learn from 'fucus'?

1. boy do I need it!

2. the word works better if it chooses you

 3. in order to focus, you must first know what you're focusing on

4. it's hard to focus with chronic pain

5. with a hubby and four kids, it's nearly impossible to focus!

(By year's end, I had completely forgotten my word, and it was 'focus'. Go figure.)

With 2012 quickly approaching, I started toying with a list of words.

I tried each on for size. Played with them, spoke them, wrote them.

Nothing seemed right so I gave up.

That's when the word of 2012 whispered in my ear.

My word for 2012 is

FAITH

... to be continued.

Do you have a word of the year? A resolution? Please tell!

Blessings

It may appear that we are alone on our journey through life,

but one need only to look to the left or the right

to see that we are not alone. We are walking side by side.

With deep gratitude I thank each one of you for being by my side.

~~~~~~

A wish, a kiss, a blessing

sent out onto the air

praying it reaches your doorstep

and finds you waiting there.

May your heart open wide and fill with love.

May your soul feel light and free.

May you find magic in the air this holiday season

and love filled gifts under your tree.

I thank you and love you for being here.

Your friendships and support touch my heart.

May God bless you this holiday season.

May the New Year bless you from finish to start.

Reflection (w/Lennon udate)

re·flec·tion   (www.dictionary.com)

1. the act of reflecting or the state of being reflected.

2. an image; representation; counterpart.

3. a fixing of the thoughts on something; careful consideration.

4. a thought occurring in consideration or meditation.

Here we are.

The last day of 2010.

365 consecutive days over.

A new batch busting at the seams to cut loose.

How was your year?

Did it treat you good?

Did you treat you good?

What did you learn?

What would you change?

What moments would you savor and live over and over?

What are your hopes and dreams for 2011?

Do you have a resolution?

... a word chosen?

This is a day to reflect.

To dream.

To choose.

To guide us into the new year.

May all your hopes and dreams

come true for you

this bright and beautiful new year.

May you learn, love and live life to the deepest and fullest.

May you be blessed

as you have blessed me

with friendship

love

and laughter.

Happy New Year to

Beautiful YOU!!!! 

Lennon Update: Brought him back to the vet this morning as he is almost four days with no food. They gave him a shot to stop the vomiting and injected fluids under his skin. Sent me home with more prescription cat food to keep trying and two shots that I am supposed to administer (gulp!). One this evening and one tomorrow morning. He is doing very well considering circumstances. Thank you for your continued prayers. Will keep you updated.