In our house van
we are active participants of the game of Slug Bug.
I'm sure you know the game.
Any time you see a Volkswagon Bug
it is a free-for-all punch fest
to see who can nail who the quickest.
Many moms may consider this game too violent,
even brutal, perhaps.
Since I am Slug Bug champ, to declare the game off limits
would be like telling the Packers they can never play football again
now that they have their trophy.
Sorry.
Not happening!
To be a decent mommy, I have applied rules to the game.
1.
NO HARD PUNCHING!!!!
(my teenager and husband have failed this rule
on numerous occasions and I have the bruises to prove it!)
Light tapping is the acceptable amount of slug.
2.
Only Bugs count. No PT Cruisers (they're wannabes)
No Jettas, Golfs or Tourages
A bug is a bug is a bug is a bug.
The rest are cheap cheats
3.
One punch per bug.
C'mon!!! Common sense people!
p.s. refer back to rule #1
4.
ABSOLUTELY
NO
SLUG BACKS!!!
EVER!!!!
What's with this new generation of kids?
Slug backs?!!!
Ludicrous!
5.
Speaking of new generation...
you must PROVE your slug bug.
You must be able to point in the general direction and state color
so the slug victim has proof that he deserved to be slugged.
None of this "I swear I saw one." BS
(this rule comes from bus tales of the boys punching the crap
out of each other using Slug Bug for an excuse - all in fun of course.
But still. Have a little respect for the game people!!!!)
6.
If a passenger does not wish to play
they simply state "Not playing." upon entering the vehicle.
That being said, if you state "Not playing." that means
YOU ARE NOT PLAYING!!!!!
You cannot randomly turn on and off your choice
according to who is seeing the bugs.
If you are not playing and you see a bug,
you must remain in a seated position with your hands to your sides
and fists OFF YOUR BROTHERS!!!
I have three boys and a husband. Can you tell?
I also have a Little Lady.
Little Lady plays on occasion.
She knows Mommy would NEVER punch hard.
It would make her (and mommy) cry.
Mommy plays Slug Bug but plays it more like Love Tap bug.
Unlike The Brothers.
After a recent drive through town
(I swear we live in Volkswagon Capital Of The World)
and a hearty game of Slug Bug,
Little Lady came up with her own version.
She sweetly stated, "Mommy, wouldn't it be great if everyone played Hug Bug
instead of Slug Bug? That would be nice, wouldn't it?"
Heart melting.
I know.
I have to admit. For all the enjoyment I get out of a competitive game of Slug Bug,
the world would be a much better place playing by Little Lady's rules.
From now on
for every Bug I see
it will be Hug Bug for me.
(artwork courtesy of Little Lady - you can find more here)
